TRAVEL: Siquijor Island, Philippines

As I walked up the hill–onto the centre of the Healing Festival–I was surprised to see nothing. People were gathered in small groups, vendors stationed their dried-leaf potions on the sides, and signs were put up advertising for hilot (massage). Nothing in this would differ from a typical probinsya fiesta. There were even horses you can ride for 10 pesos and live music by a local guitarista. 

I was at the Bandilaan Mountain Park in Siquijor, Negros Oriental. That day was Good Friday and my friends (Nelia, Rachel, Mya) and I trekked up the mountains for the Healing Festival. The signage said:

The Healing Festival is a showcase of healers and herbalists gathered together to perform their rituals, traditional healing practices, the renewal of their healing powers and the preparation of the medicanal potions believed to cure a variety of ailments.

I positioned myself in front of the small huts and patiently observed the healers. One man who had been working with an elder lady, did something I've never seen before: he blew bubbles in a round glass filled with water and one blue ball. He'd then chant prayers on a side, in front of a single white candle. I didn't think much of this until a 15-something girl approached him. He blew the bubbles, as usual, but sent her away immediately. "You're OK, nothing's wrong. You can leave," he said quietly.

I was able to observe this because I tried the traditional healing myself. I walked up to an elder lady dressed in white. Since I don't speak Bisaya, I just gestured and said, "Ako din po. Gusto ko din." (I'd like to try that too). To start, she massaged my head with oil from a small, roll-on container. It hurt. Then she would press parts of my chest and arm that made me wince. "Ate, bakit masakit? (Why is it hurting?), I asked. "Kasi masakit ulo, mo diba?" (Because your head hurts, right?). I did have an oncoming headache at the moment. 


After a few minutes of doing that to parts of my leg, she rubbed me with lana. As I understood, it's their version of homemade massage oil. I saw that hers had bits of leaves in it. To give respect, I didn't shower until the next day to let whatever she did (including the chanting and blowing) absorb fully.

Turns out, this wasn't your typical fiesta.

Love potions | Siquijor, Philippines

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Being in Siquijor to me, felt like a refreshing probinsya. No malls, no big stores, a few cars–heck, zero phone reception. The town is incredibly slow and quiet. I was delighted to see houses made in either nipa (a material made from a palm tree common in Pacific islands) or bare hollow blocks. It was so simple, so different from what I've seen in Cavite, California or even rural parts of Cebu. 

But then you'd get pockets of luxury like U Story. Owned by a Frenchwoman and her Filipino chef husband, together they built this Bali-inspired resto, lounge area and guest house. The woman owner designed the furniture herself and had it custom-built. I appreciate that attention to details–it made the place texture-rich yet cohesive. My friends and I had dinner there on Maundy Thursday and came back the next day to enjoy the views in daylight. 

Starting from back left: Tony, Mel, Crystal (author), Nelia, Mya and Rachel

Meet my new friend, 10-year old Mya! I hope to someday introduce her to my sister, Ace.

Good Friday lounging at U Story

Bali-inspired decor

Holy week spent well with these girls

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I'm back to Cebu now, after three-days and two nights in Siquijor. I'm happy to get WiFi and sleep in an air-conditioned room again, but I was so glad to have done the trip. 

Rachel and her daughter, Mya 

First of all, I'm thankful to have met new friends–Rachel and Mya Roberts–both so kind and game. I have a kindred with explorer personality types, ones that don't care about mosquitoes, bumpy tricycle rides, and backpacking-style travel. As expected, vendors and drivers raised their prices on us (sometimes double) as we're a foreign group. But we knew better and negotiated to the bones. The total cost for my trip was barely Php 3,000. 

Nelia (left) and Mel (right) at the Danish Lagoon

I'm also thankful for Nelia Monet, my colleague at JFDI and new-found travel buddy. We've only known each other for a month but she's tagged me along Malaspascua and Siquijor already. On this trip, I also met her sister, Melanie. 






At the end of the Healing Festival, I had my palms read. I also tried card reading, just to see what psychic would say about my upcoming wedding. In general, they were all positive readings–with a few reflective points. I immediately typed them on my phone, so I won't forget. However, no details will be revealed in this blog. ;-) 

That's it, Siquijor–I can't wait to explore more Philippine islands.

-C.

Author's sunset shot at the Santander Express Port

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Things I Like About JFDI

What's been keeping me busy these days is my new job as Social Media and Content Marketing Manager at JFDI Asia. In short, I handle our socials and make sure we have awesome content. How I am today – giddy and challenged and fulfilled – is a far cry from what I've been the past few months.

My biggest worry about moving to Cebu was finding the right  kind of work (also, earning a liveable salary). Did you know that unemployment is in the Top 10 traumas for a human being? Going through that was like living a nightmare. Add to that I was also very picky with how I spent my time. I didn't play golf, even if my fiancé often does, as it is something I consider irrelevant.



I didn't take any "survival" job either. I worked in San Diego for year and saved 50% of my salary, so I can be deliberate in finding work in Cebu. I want a position that would force a learning curve in writing and digital media. 

One of the most important points in Dr. Meg Jay's book, 'The Defining Decade' is about spending "your 20's learning." She adds, "Salary is roughly equivalent to your skills. In your 20's don't expect to earn money. You simply don't have the experience. Instead, you should spend this decade learning and absorbing as much as you can. Hopefully by the time you're in your 30's, money shouldn't be a problem." There's a lot of easy-money dead-end jobs, that even my fellow 20-something friends are forced to take. 

One day while browsing Mynimo (an online forum like Craigslist), I saw a job opening in socials for a company called JFDI Asia. Three interviews and a writing trial later, I was hired. I was that overdressed lady you probably saw fist-pumping at the intersection of Cardinal Rosales and Mindanao Avenue on a hot afternoon. At that moment, everything felt so right. 

JFDI Asia is a Singapore-based accelerator. In short, they help venture-fundable startups. Right now my job has me reading and writing about technology, entrepreneurship, risk mitigation, etc. – things I have never written before in my life. This week I had to make an MIT paper web-friendly. I'm racking my brain everyday, but this is exactly the learning curve I'm looking for.



Day One of my employment, I sent out a tweet that JFDI is so cool. Our company mascot is a frog we call Smoochy (#spotsmoochy).


I'll share with you the Four JFDI Principles listed in our employee handbook. I'm very fond of them and believe they can be applied in all areas of life:

4 Principles Of JFDI 

1. Resourcefulness Principle - You should assume that at any given time, other people are busy with their own work, so if you can accomplish something or find an answer to a question without bothering someone else, you should try to do that first. 

This filters all the ignoramus and annoying people out of our offices. It means I can work in peace, except when somebody really needs something from me. I heard this story once about JFDI Chairman Meng Wong. One of my coworkers needed some information, so Meng told the guy to: first, google like crazy; second, hit his head in the wall; third, (if that's still not working) only then ask someone. No spoon-feeding works for us, so we can focus on big wins.

2. Relevance Principle - avoid unnecessarily taxing the attention of people who don’t care. 

3. Searchability Principle - make the communication available on demand to anyone looking for it.

We use the Slack app to make office communication seamless. We don't like email because info gets buried there. So in the Slack's editorial channel, I get almost real-time feedback from my editor, Joyce Huang. All of us gets to read and learn from company 'critical incidents,' something we all talk about weekly. I also get to easily reach out to our CEO Hugh Mason and Chairman Meng Wong, would I ever need quotes. Searchability supports our resourcefulness principle, which in turn supports...

4. Openness Principle - default to the medium which is the most open for the communication at hand.

Openness has long been cited as a hallmark trait in successful marriages. How would I have known these works in company culture too? Everything is online for us to read, check and use. Openness very well ties into searchability and resourcefulness which all, in turn, optimise our work flows. We don't have to rely on other people to 'send us this..' (OK, sometimes we still do). We use Asana for tasks, Nimble for contacts, SlimWiki for company SOP's, and Slack for office chitchat. All open, searchable, paperless, efficient and awesome.

Hi from the office! We use Hangouts to touch base with the Singapore team.

Cal Newport in his book, 'So Good They Can't Ignore You,' talked about three things that define great work:

1. Creativity

2. Impact

3. Control

My work today is giving me autonomy and flexibility. I can clearly see the impact of my work in Hubspot metrics, feedback from my colleagues and retweets and follows from tech people on Twitter. When I get better, I'll eventually handle Inbound Marketing, a skill I consider highly valuable in today's connected world. So, I cleared all of Newport's requirements.

Every morning I sit in the garden or take a few minutes in the car to pinch myself. This is the reality of where I am at the moment. I've left my life in San Francisco/San Diego to move to Cebu, Philippines. I'm getting married soon. Despite of being picky and specific, I found the job that I'm looking for.

I read this from Paulo Coelho as a kid and it still holds true today:

Crystal Superal is the Social Media and Content Marketer at JFDI, the #1 business accelerator in Asia. She finished her Multimedia Communications degree while playing golf for a San Francisco-based art school. She currently lives in Cebu City, Philippines. For her thoughts about tech and lifehacks, follow her Twitter @crystalsuperal.

Reflecting On The Past Year 2014

"THE YEAR I SAW BEAUTIFUL THINGS." That's how I'd describe 2014. It's the year I got engaged to Jovi, worked my first job out of college, learned to cook and bake, and hiked and explored countless trails in San Diego -- my home for the year. 

How blessed is a hiker's life. Me at San Jacinto State Park.

On April 16th, I celebrated my 23rd birthday. My life in San Diego was very alone and quiet. Instead of sulking, I hiked my favorite trail -- the Torrey Pines National State Reserve. It's not as well-known as La Jolla Village, all the more making it "my own" special place. From the parking lot to the Ranger station, it took an hour of uphill walking. Two more hours from there, I found myself past the Beach Trail, writing on a yellow pad paper and sketching the cliffs and the beach. Everything looked golden, stark, and high contrast as the famous orange California sunset came out. It wasn't too cold, or hot, just the right temperature San Diego is known for. Remarkable.

I've had plenty more like that -- twice in the Grand Canyon, during winter and fall; in Big Sur, one of the most beautiful coastal views on Earth; on top of Cowles Mountain, Volcan Mountain, and San Jacinto viewing decks; and even just in my neighbourhood, in Lake Chollas, as I sip on my coffee and eat my chicken burrito at 7AM. 

I'm thankful for 2014, for witnessing some of the majestic sites California is known for. I'm thankful for my job that enabled me to save for marriage. I'm thankful for making working out a habit, as well as my brand-new skills of cooking and baking, which will only make me healthier. Jovi will soon-to-become my husband, and I'm grateful for that. Thanks for everything, 2014.

Here is a slideshow I made to capture last year's highlights.

A Very Sad Wedding Planning

YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS JET SKIING WITH MY FIANCE'S BROTHER, I could not stop thinking of Andrea. She’s my Colombian friend and golf teammate from college. I could just imagine Andrea’s face shrieking with joy as the waves crash against a standup jet ski in full throttle. In front of us was a light blue water lagoon; behind were beach resorts peppered with white umbrellas and tourist snorkelers. She would have loved spending all day there, talking about how she could live an island life away from the rat race. 

Right now I’m living in Cebu, Philippines. The ocean is so close to us and we are living in abundance of cheap, fresh fruits and seafood. Meanwhile, Andrea (a girl I call my “favorite” of all my other girlfriends) is in Portland, Oregon interviewing with Nike. In just a year our paths have separated in opposite directions. Me, planning a wedding and she pursuing design. 

Weddings are a celebration of love and binding families. With all the fluff of bridal books, Pinterest-worthy ideas and input of planners, weddings are supposed to be maniacal money-sucking lavish parties. You can do what you want! You can be bridezilla and it’s okay! Nonetheless it has the different effect on me — sadness.

I’m missing too many people. Every time I look at minute wedding details such as boutonniere or non-flower bouquets, I think of Jonathan. He’s an especially close and trusted pal of mine for almost ten years. When my family needed help setting up our new house in Cavite, he painted walls and refurnished our cabinets. I’ve never met anyone as practical and ingenious, so how I wish my best friend would be my decorator and planner. But he lives in Manila — too far away.

My maid-of-honor is Lyra, another close pal for almost a decade. She will be flying from Hongkong on my wedding week. Her familiar face and presence are more than enough as a gift, so I don’t even want to bother with bridal extras. I’m a proponent of accepting things as is, so if I have no friends around, I won’t expect a bridal shower. My friends in San Francisco — Sasha, Inez, Julie, Mariana, Sierra, Melissa — are the ones who saw me failing and winning in the last few years. They saw me sneaking in a corner to take long-distances call from my soon-to-be husband. Or they shooed away potential suitors. The stories and the laughter, that’s what I miss and that’s what I would like in my entourage. 

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Planning a wedding is very different from planning a wedding without parents. I wish I could ask my mom about Roman Catholic rituals or other weddings in my family. Heck — I wish she was just beside me so I could hear her voice. Jovi and I spoke about being prepared, just in case none of my parents could make it at my wedding. My throat chokes up at the thought, but I’m prepared to walk by myself down the aisle. So for those who have parents who might be helping or causing some stress: just be thankful. That’s better than none. 

My wedding, so far, has me craving for the familiar — for family. I know very well that I’m part of a new family now. But there’s still something to say about a mother’s practical comment or picking shoes and dresses with a sister. What is too much to ask when somebody offers help? There have been many kind queries, from job offers to actual roles in the ceremony. I just wish I would know them better to gauge if they are asking out of politeness or sincerity. Or maybe this is the event that will spark new friendships and relationships I crave for.

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Photo by JJ Alvarez 

As Edwin Muir wrote in his 1943 poem, The Confirmation: "Yes, yours my love, is the right human face." Jovi is the most comforting and friendliest face I see everyday. He makes sure I’m never too hungry, tired, or bored (it’s awesome). Yesterday, he ran from the mall to cancel my foot spa, so he could feed me Andok’s chicken. When I told him I miss my mom, he said:

“It’s okay, I can be your Mom. If you want, I could also be your Dad in the golf course when we play.”

He and I discussed destierro first before booking our suppliers. He had pulled lots of strings so we could get first in line for everything. Poor guy was sore for four days after I forced him to swing kettle bells. He is kind, patient and supportive. When I need to cry, he lets me, then feeds me and quietly drives me home. I never knew he’d have this much caress in him.

I don’t know how my situation could be different. It’s a simple reality from moving to a new city without friends and family. I miss my loves — so much so that all I could think about is what we’ll do together once they’re here. More than a wedding, I’m looking for a home-coming. On my wedding day, my friends and family will witness my new life. And if they like it, I hope they’ll come back to visit me.   

Stories And My New Life In Cebu

I SAT IN FRONT OF JAN YANEHIRO IN HER 79 New Montgomery office at downtown San Francisco. She's dressed in a yellow wool jacket over a black top and long pants. Her gently parted bangs and lilac-colored eyeshadow struck me first as I stare at her.

“Crystal, your voice tends to fall off at the end of your sentences. Project like this.”

She proceeds to say a few words. I follow them. 

“Yes, better. Keep practicing.”

Jan is an Emmy-awarding winning journalist. As the Director of Multimedia Communications of Academy Art University, she had been the first person to encourage me to study production. When I was a scared, stressed, teenage girl looking for a scholarship, she welcomed me in open arms saying, “You’d flourish in my department both as an athlete and a student.” And I believed her.

Four years later, I graduated with several awards, one of them an NCAA Woman of the Year nomination. Not only my US education will enable me to provide for myself, I was also exposed to an environment that proved I could live a creative and meaningful life. A private art school education. Traveling the whole U.S. with artist friends while playing competitive golf. Living in downtown San Francisco -  melting pot of wealthy, artistic, free, environmentally and historically adept people and ideas. My brain, my physique, my soul — all expanded the best way possible any young woman could ever wish for.

That bright afternoon, Jan and I had been working to produce a singing show. It will be our last class together. Although I’m thankful for her kind mentoring, at the same time, I was also feeling nostalgic about the near end of my college journey. It’s graduation soon. It was almost goodbye.

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After graduating, I moved to San Diego, California. The weather is described as semi-arid, mild and sunny throughout the year. It’s essentially all-day long perfect, the kind that would guilt you if you’re not outdoors.

I’ve been driving for almost an hour now, even turning off the radio so I could focus on the directions. But what I could not find is the entrance to Elfin Forest in Escondido, California. I’m right here, but as with most state parks, looking for the “staging” area (the place where the hike starts), is the hardest to find.

“One mile from destination,” the GPS voice cries in unison with the hazard light clicking. After a U-turn and an illegal left turn, I finally found the gate.

The Elfin Forest hike boasts of several trails that vary in difficulty. As a moderate hiker, I aim for maximum three to four hours in the mountain. Asking for more might be a push for a young woman wandering alone.

Fake alone, I would call it, because you're never truly by yourself in nature. I’m walking on half-sand/half-dry soil. Hundreds of miles of it spread in front of me, sometimes wielding like forks into deeper parts of the woods. I learned this thing in college training where we load our butts and thighs and tighten our bellies for every lunge. My trainer advised it’s best for protecting knees, so I used that in my new hiking hobby. That, and breathing in rhythm, made me fall in love with hiking more.

Up in the mountains, mansions in Escondido peaks looked like tiny cars. California is experiencing its worst drought in years. So right now, a typical California view is like an old pastel painting —  brownish, greenish, bluish — real but faint. Slowly rolling mountains but never too small like hills or staggering like the Grand Canyon’s. And there’s always a body of water, this time the Olivenhain Municipal Water District.

Since moving to San Diego, I learned to relinquish the outdoors. My work ends early so by afternoon, I’m free to sleep under the sun. Without any friends, school or social obligations, I’m living in melancholy, peace and solitude. 

“Aloneness is not the same as loneliness,” one of my favorite quotes would say. The San Diego life, paired me down to what really matters to my core - a purpose (my first employment after school), nature (hikes and coastal views), books (to feed my brain) and lots of reflection time. 

When my working privileges ends, I’m moving back to my home country, the Philippines. My VISA is expiring soon. It’s almost goodbye.

————

And now here I am in Cebu living an entirely new life.

Two weeks ago, I left my siblings in Cavite to move to Cebu permanently. I bawled on the plane until I got bloodshot eyes over missing the three little people I love the most. 

"Why do you want to drop me off at the airport?," I asked my nine-year old sister Ace. 

"Kasi wala na akong ate (Because I will no longer have an older sister)," she said so straight and emotionless, I wanted to crumble inside. A notable hurdle in this new life: Leaving my family. 

A week ago, I sat on the bathroom floor away from screens and noise. My future husband had to rescue me, probably thinking I just went mad. But I needed the space to internalize my losses. I’m waking up everyday depending on one person. I have no place to go or nothing (not even household chores) to do. A notable hurdle in this new life: a loss of a purpose. No work, no dignity.

Two hours ago, Jovi and I, were being toured by a sweet lady around Radisson Blu Hotel. I could not follow her words because she’s speaking in Bisaya — the dialect of Cebuanos. I’m born and raised Tagalog and adopted English from my college days. Bisaya is spoken fast and there are still many words I don't understand. A notable hurdle in this new life: language.

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I went to school in San Francisco for four years, then I moved to San Diego for a year. That’s five years of building a life — the first time I would call my real “own” life without much of anybody’s help. I decided to pick my major. I cleaned, slept, cooked, washed and ate in an apartment I chose. I hosted breakfasts with my own adult friends. In those five years I grew up, not only in age, but in a hey-I-can-survive-alone kind of empowering way. 

Goodbye to my independent U.S. life, artists friends in San Francisco, to the crazy mornings of waking up beside my nine year-old sister, or even just the familiarity of my Cavite home or the San Diego freeways. I don’t think a husband is enough to replace all that. And that’s okay. Because when I sleep at night and wake up in a this new life of uncertainty, only one strong, ironic and quizzical thing hits me. The eliminator of all my notable hurdles: Gut-wrenching joy.

"Uncertainty is where things happen. It is where the opportunities — for success, for happiness, for really living — are waiting.”

How I Learn By Samm McAlear

THIS SERIES IS ABOUT PEOPLE I admire answering the question: "How Do You Learn?" According to the dictionary:  learn (verb) means to gain or acquire knowledge of or skill in by study, experience, or being taught. I want, and hopefully my readers as well, to pick up lessons from individuals who are happy, socially responsible and uniquely successful. 

I started off by answering this question myself, and now it's time to pass the baton to Samm McAlear. He and I knew each other as student-athletes at Academy of Art University. Equipped with the grit of a baseball player, Samm is turning his competitiveness and drive to graphic design. He is currently working at Nike as a Product Designer intern. 

Location: Beaverton, Oregon 
Current Gig: Product Designer and Product Graphics Intern (NIKE), Student (Graphic Design, AAU)
Website: sammmcalear.com

HOW I LEARN BY SAMM MCALEAR

What inspires you?

Travel. It's crazy how you can take a 45 minute flight from one city to another and you can tell you're in a completely different enviroment. Culture is everything and I love seeing the differences between people and communities from one place to another. Everyone of us was brought up with different values and family history that contribute to who we are, and what traits we pass on to the next generation. You don't even have to travel the world to find this, you could drive a couple hours to the next state over and gain a whole different perspective on life. I've been lucky enough to be able to travel all over the world and it's definitely influenced me as a designer. Sometimes we get so caught up in doing things a certain way because it's comfortable for us and we fail to see there are other ways to accomplish the same task. 

I love talking to people who were around before technology and hearing how they created. There is an authenticity you get by doing something with your hands, and that seems to get lost in the modern technology age. Part of my reaction to this is now whenever I take photographs I shoot everything on disposable cameras. There is something about capturing a moment on a disposable that is so authentic because you can't snap off 14 frames in a row like you can on modern DSLR's. What you shoot is what you get. You capture that authentic moment and something is so real about it. 

And music. I can't work without listening to music. It sets the tone and allows me to zone into what I'm working on. 

Describe a typical day. 

Wake up. Eat some breakfast while checking Instagram. Spending 15-20 minutes sketching random things to get my brain started up, sometimes the sketches lead to other ideas, sometimes they're chicken scratch. Then sit down at the computer and log into my online classes and try and knock some HW out of the way. Once I get bored of that I'll check my usual design blogs and then get started on whatever freelance work I have. Eat lunch, Work out and shower then get back to either client work or homework depending on the day. 

On travel days I try not to get on my computer. Instead I'll either read a book or draw, but things always change depending on my workload. 

A doodle on a plane

Anything cool you're working on?

I just finished some stuff up at Nike that should be releasing here very soon, and continuing to release throughout the rest of 2014 and into 2015. 

I'm also finishing up Art Direction a national campaign for Monster Products, a headphone company based in the bay. Currently looking for more cool projects too!

How do you get news everyday? 

By watching the news in the morning, the internet, and Twitter. 

How do you share what you know? 

I use Twitter mainly to share what I know. I use Facebook mainly as a way to stay connected to old friends and family that live all over the country. 

What continues to influences your life?

One of Samm's design for Nike

Music and the incredibly talented people that I have the opportunity to work with. If you told me when I started college in 2010 that I would have worked for Nike, and get paid to work for and with musicians and athletes that I look up is still pretty crazy to me, and sometimes it doesn't even feel real. That alone influences and inspires me to continue to grow as a designer and never stop learning. 

An unforgettable quote.

Don't think about what can happen in a month, or what can happen in a year. Instead, focus on the 24 hours in front of you and do what you can to be closer to where and what you want to be. I have no idea who said it, but I love it!

Your Top 5 Fascinating People and what would you like to learn from them?

 Kanye West, Benjamin Franklin, Rick Rubin, Warren Buffet and Nelson Mandela

Warren Buffet - the man started with nothing and now he owns damn near half of the US it seems like. 

Rick Rubin - The guy has produced for everyone from the Dixie chicks to Kanye. He makes a hit album, then seems to disappear for years, then all of a sudden is back making more classics. 

Kanye West - beneath all the craziness and antics there is hints of true creative genius that I feel tends to get misunderstood just because of how passionate he is about what he loves. 

Benjamin Franklin - the way at which he approached problems and discovered solutions really fascinates me. 

Nelson Mandela - He witnessed people at there worst, and was still able to forgive and focus on the good of the greater people, changing the history of a country,  and in turn impacting the world in a way which I think he never imagined. 

What is a book or movie that changed you?

The last book and movie that really made me think were 'The Butler" (Film) and "Lullaby" by Chuck Palahniuk.

What do you know for sure?

I wake up every morning excited that I get paid to do what I love. 

Lastly, I would love for  Andrea Nieto  to answer these questions.

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Contact: Follow Samm's Instagram here.

To see the rest of his work, go to:  sammmcalear.com

Letter To Myself 10 Years Ago

At 13 years old, it was a rough life for me. Inspired by Simple Dollar's Trent, today I write about what I wish I knew ten years ago. 


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Dear Crystal,

Today you are 23 years old. You're leaving the US after five years of building a life there, worked and saved the most you've ever made in your life, and engaged to marry your life partner of almost a decade. Right now might be hard to imagine that this was all possible, so I'll just pop in a few suggestions to guide you along.

Right now, take your scrapbook and diary and write with full honesty. Your dream now is to become the best Filipina golfer. But there are other things you should write about too - your favorite things, friends, hurts, lessons and places. In this lifetime you will travel and move so many times, your one regret is that you did not document deservedly.

Do not be afraid. For those many years of going to bed in fear -- failing in golf, disappointing sponsors, hearing criticism from other golfers or their parents -- all this will become irrelevant in due time. In fact, not even your parents will bear weigh in your direction. It's your life. And only your own spirit and creation will propel you to a life you deserve.

Save money. As a woman, it's the single thing that will root your independence and freedom. When you are free as you wish to spend on things you deem important, that confidence will spread in every area of your life. You'd be able to plan for the long-term. You will never see men as a free ticket; instead, your relationships will become equal in power and autonomy. Practice self-control, discipline, minimalism and ingenuity in creating value.

Lastly, this is the most important thing that will clarify many things for you: master your authentic voice. Media, backstabbers and clutter are distractions. When you fluctuate in weight until you find the perfect medium, accept that that's a process you have to take. The abuse you will see and experience in your life is a reflection of the aggressor's hurt -- not yours. It's okay to be weird, frugal, addicted to reading and exercise, to cry about rape stories, and care deeply about color and nature. After being who you are, everything else is noise. Soon enough, you will meet a guy who will love, trust and support you fiercely more than you can. He will respect you for being real.

Amid the noise, you'll discover what will perpetually matter: family, independence, love, reading and writing, and a growing list of organic goals. It's golf for you right now, but in the future, it might be a burning desire to see Cape Town, South Africa. In 10 years it really won't get easier, but continue to trust that it will unfold beautifully as you do your best everyday.

Best Wishes,

Your 23-year Old Self