On Turning 25

THIS TIME LAST YEAR, I was engaged and giving my all at work. Today, I just came back from a 2-day vacation in Boracay and had dinner with my husband and 16 members of his immediate family and in-laws. I'm also about to start my new job. What 365 days can do!  

There's a certain dread about growing another year older. But that's never the case for me. When I was younger, I was too emotional and afraid. My teenage years were turbulent. I find that with age, I feel more daring and stable. I'm slowly caring less of what others think. It's great to be 25! Here are some of my favorite photos from my birthday:

Lobster birthday dinner in Boracay's Talipapa

At Puca Beach

Crystal Cove's first cave

3 days before my birthday, we hosted a Mexican dinner for friends & family

Many thanks especially to Jovi, who is the best husband one could ever hope for.

Here's a very special video I made quickly to summarise my Boracay birthday celebration on April 16th and my Mexican party with my friends in Cebu on April 13th. Many thanks to those who had been part of my past year. Cheers to the new one!

7 Days With Family In Oahu, Hawaii

THIS BLOG IS DIFFERENT than my other ones because family hosted us in Honolulu. Out of the short 7-days we were there, my husband and I spent the most time in Alamoana, the biggest outdoor shopping mall in the US. We went on hikes, sightseeing tours and ate lots fresh Hawaiian Poke Ahi Tuna.

10 Fantastic Experiences In My Solo Trip To Surigao Del Norte

HERE ARE MY TOP 10 fantastic experiences traveling solo to Surigao Del Norte for 3 Nights/2 Days.

What To Do In Siargao, Philippines

MOST BLOGS I READ ABOUT SIARGAO have travel budgets around 4K per person. But my husband and I wanted to make the most out of our experience in Surigao Del Norte, so we stayed for 5 nights and 6 days. I prefer to travel slowly anyway, taking time to enjoy our destination and let days unfold on their own. [Read: 5 Days Kauai, Hawaii: Things To See And Do]

A Look Back at 2015: One Of The Best Years Of My Life

I'LL REMEMBER 2015 AS ONE OF THE BEST YEARS of my life. This year, I started working at JFDI.Asia, settled in Cebu after being so homesick, traveled to several destinations around the Philippines and spent two weeks in Hawaii. Best of all I got married to Jovi, who turned out to be an excellent travel buddy! Here's a look back at my favourite posts and photos in 2015 to reminisce (and help you catch anything you might have missed).

Welcoming 2016 at our family New Years Party

5 Days In Kauai, Hawaii: Things To See And Do

This 5-day itinerary will take you to 10 tourist spots around Kaua'i, Hawaii. -By Crystal Neri

I'm Married! Our Wedding, Part 2

I'M NOW OFFICIALLY CRYSTAL NERI, married to Jovi after many years of being together. Here's Part 2 of a two-part series, with the final same-day edit video and a list of everyone that made it happen for us. 

Our wedding suppliers: Giving business to our friends

Our simple gold wedding bands are from Suarez and Sons.

 

Our wonderful coordinator, Tonette Carcel, was recommended to us by my flower girl’s mom, Justeen.  

Tonette Malagar Carcel (7th person from left), our on-the-day wedding coordinator, with us and her team.

The reception decor was made my Hansel, one of the waiters at Cebu Country Club. 

Jovi's drawing hanging in the DIY arch. Lots of guests took pictures here 

What a glorious day to get married. No rain!

Pink Flora’s Pinky Chang, who made the bridal bouquet, is a friend of my mother-in-law. 

Chateau De Busay serving their famous Humba. In the menu, there's roasted beef (baka), fish fillet, pancit & more.

The house band, Mofo, and On The Cover band have the same guitarist that Jovi have been watching for 20 years. 

Our rehearsal dinner caterer, Creative Cuisine, is owned by our neighbour, Derek. Even our transportation guy, Fernando, who provided us vans and drivers, is Jovi’s friend. It was surreal to see all this labor of love come together in one special event.

People I'm Thankful For

First of all, I’m grateful to my husband, Jovi. He planned 70% of our wedding with grit to the detail. Just a few nights before the Big Day, Jovi was crunching 320 names in the spreadsheet for seating arrangements. He shows his kindness in a specific way. Case in point: nobody knew he invited about 7 caddies in our reception and even gave them money for transportation. Our wedding is proof of how much he loves me –  it not only benefitted me – but also the people around us that we made happy. To my husband: you are my favourite person in the universe and I love you to the world. 

Mom Nelia, Jovi, and Dad Julius at Bauhinia

My parents-in-law, Nelia & Julius, were tremendous help. Mom Nelia took charge of the entourage attire, flowers, alcohol, and more.  The night before the wedding day, I broke down in tears because four barongs’  and a dress were MIA. She called my coordinator the next day with words, “It’s taken care of.” Rumours she called the laundry store owner. For our jewelry, 20th century silver arrhaes, expert hosting at the Rehearsal Dinner, and a bunch of things I have no space to list here, she took charge of.

One of my most fave pics with my mom. The Mercedes conked twice on the way to the church – but we just laughed along the way.

I'm thankful to my mother, Grace, for her presence. In my wedding day speech, I choked on the part sharing how much my mom has sacrificed for our family. She flew to Cebu after not being home in the Philippines for over six years. And she was finally there, making me laugh in my bridal car, walking me down the aisle and experiencing my new life and family in Cebu. She’s came to Cebu for me, even if it wasn't easy. 

Vanessa and the hair team of Chris made me look like this

I am super thankful for my makeup artist, Vanessa. Jovi might be annoyed by this right now, but when I look at our wedding pictures, I can’t stop saying, “Jov, I’m so pretty. Did you know I’m this pretty pala?” For the big & beautiful cake supplied by San Jose Bakeshop's Jojo. For my maid-of-honor, Lyra, who is such a trooper in the midst of a big and chaotic Filipino wedding. For my friends at JFDI Asia, whose CEO Hugh Mason attended the event. My colleagues (Nelia, Mee-ann & Edrian) did two surprise song numbers for me. For Marko’s fantastic beach house that my family enjoyed. To the Neri and Garcia family - Lotlot organized my bridal shower, Nini & Pio hosted the reception and played music, the nephews and nieces (Isabel, Julian, Ines and Mikkel) did a surprise song number, and 11-year old Bianca played Canon D live at the processional. [On a side note: how talented is this family?]

My nephews and nieces singing (from left to right): Nessi, Mikkel, Nini and Julian

My JFDI colleagues belted out 2 surprise songs for me. From left to right: Meeann, Edrian and Nelia

My JFDI family with the Lerma brothers. #spotsmoochy

Getting Married - How That Was Like

My husband and his family are loved by many people, and I’m an umbrella to their graces. We ended up putting together an event that is not to be featured on Bride and Breakfast, but is meaningful and true to us. When my cousins from Guimaras went home to tell their mom what happened, they were choking because they can’t finish their sentences. My best friend, Jonathan, is at loss for words on how everything turned out. Lyra and Sam, my friends in college, returned to their countries with stories of whaleshark sight-seeing and delicious roasted pig tastings.

My husband and I just opened hundreds of weddings gifts and are even more stunned. As those things are put away in storage for now, I'm living my days with Jovi thinking pretty much one thought: "OMG, I love this person so much." And I'm married to him.

          Here's our same day edit video, courtesy of Storyteller. 

Travel Blog: El Nido and Puerto Princesa, Palawan

HERE'S THE 6-DAY ITINERARY OF OUR HONEYMOON trip to Palawan, Philippines. I'm writing about the El Nido and Puerto Princesa highlights such as the Underground River, limestone island-hopping tours, and more. 

I'm Married! Our Wedding, Part 1

I'M NOW OFFICIALLY CRYSTAL NERI, married to Jovi after many years of being together. This is inside story of how we planned our wedding and the people and choices that guided our decisions. Here's Part 1 of this two-part series, starting with the planning stages.

"Your wedding should reflect who you are as everyday people."

TRAVEL: Bohol, Philippines

SOMETHING OTHER THAT RELAXING in Alona Beach and seeing the Chocolate Hills and tarsiers made me remember why I need to travel. Here are stories from my Labor Day weekend in Bohol, Philippines.

If there’s anything I learned from public school where we had 100 kids in one classroom, or going to a US college with towering foreigners, or attending free walking tours in San Francisco with either middle-aged Europeans or American elderly, it’s this – always stick next to the teacher/speaker/tour guide. They know best and they’ll make one’s learning richer.

That’s my thought early morning of May 2nd. 

I’m in Bohol and about to take a Day Tour. Determined to explore and get to know the island as much as I can, I have forgone my sleeping girlfriends (Nelia, G., and Melanie), my own fatigue, and spending more than I budgeted. “I’m going by myself,” I said. I planned to sit next to the driver for the next 8-hours of the tour.

What To Do In Bohol

The famous Chocolate Hills, dome-shaped hills made of grass-covered limestone

TRAVEL: Siquijor Island, Philippines

As I walked up the hill–onto the centre of the Healing Festival–I was surprised to see nothing. People were gathered in small groups, vendors stationed their dried-leaf potions on the sides, and signs were put up advertising for hilot (massage). Nothing in this would differ from a typical probinsya fiesta. There were even horses you can ride for 10 pesos and live music by a local guitarista. 

I was at the Bandilaan Mountain Park in Siquijor, Negros Oriental. That day was Good Friday and my friends (Nelia, Rachel, Mya) and I trekked up the mountains for the Healing Festival. The signage said:

The Healing Festival is a showcase of healers and herbalists gathered together to perform their rituals, traditional healing practices, the renewal of their healing powers and the preparation of the medicanal potions believed to cure a variety of ailments.

I positioned myself in front of the small huts and patiently observed the healers. One man who had been working with an elder lady, did something I've never seen before: he blew bubbles in a round glass filled with water and one blue ball. He'd then chant prayers on a side, in front of a single white candle. I didn't think much of this until a 15-something girl approached him. He blew the bubbles, as usual, but sent her away immediately. "You're OK, nothing's wrong. You can leave," he said quietly.

I was able to observe this because I tried the traditional healing myself. I walked up to an elder lady dressed in white. Since I don't speak Bisaya, I just gestured and said, "Ako din po. Gusto ko din." (I'd like to try that too). To start, she massaged my head with oil from a small, roll-on container. It hurt. Then she would press parts of my chest and arm that made me wince. "Ate, bakit masakit? (Why is it hurting?), I asked. "Kasi masakit ulo, mo diba?" (Because your head hurts, right?). I did have an oncoming headache at the moment. 


After a few minutes of doing that to parts of my leg, she rubbed me with lana. As I understood, it's their version of homemade massage oil. I saw that hers had bits of leaves in it. To give respect, I didn't shower until the next day to let whatever she did (including the chanting and blowing) absorb fully.

Turns out, this wasn't your typical fiesta.

Love potions | Siquijor, Philippines

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Being in Siquijor to me, felt like a refreshing probinsya. No malls, no big stores, a few cars–heck, zero phone reception. The town is incredibly slow and quiet. I was delighted to see houses made in either nipa (a material made from a palm tree common in Pacific islands) or bare hollow blocks. It was so simple, so different from what I've seen in Cavite, California or even rural parts of Cebu. 

But then you'd get pockets of luxury like U Story. Owned by a Frenchwoman and her Filipino chef husband, together they built this Bali-inspired resto, lounge area and guest house. The woman owner designed the furniture herself and had it custom-built. I appreciate that attention to details–it made the place texture-rich yet cohesive. My friends and I had dinner there on Maundy Thursday and came back the next day to enjoy the views in daylight. 

Starting from back left: Tony, Mel, Crystal (author), Nelia, Mya and Rachel

Meet my new friend, 10-year old Mya! I hope to someday introduce her to my sister, Ace.

Good Friday lounging at U Story

Bali-inspired decor

Holy week spent well with these girls

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I'm back to Cebu now, after three-days and two nights in Siquijor. I'm happy to get WiFi and sleep in an air-conditioned room again, but I was so glad to have done the trip. 

Rachel and her daughter, Mya 

First of all, I'm thankful to have met new friends–Rachel and Mya Roberts–both so kind and game. I have a kindred with explorer personality types, ones that don't care about mosquitoes, bumpy tricycle rides, and backpacking-style travel. As expected, vendors and drivers raised their prices on us (sometimes double) as we're a foreign group. But we knew better and negotiated to the bones. The total cost for my trip was barely Php 3,000. 

Nelia (left) and Mel (right) at the Danish Lagoon

I'm also thankful for Nelia Monet, my colleague at JFDI and new-found travel buddy. We've only known each other for a month but she's tagged me along Malaspascua and Siquijor already. On this trip, I also met her sister, Melanie. 






At the end of the Healing Festival, I had my palms read. I also tried card reading, just to see what psychic would say about my upcoming wedding. In general, they were all positive readings–with a few reflective points. I immediately typed them on my phone, so I won't forget. However, no details will be revealed in this blog. ;-) 

That's it, Siquijor–I can't wait to explore more Philippine islands.

-C.

Author's sunset shot at the Santander Express Port

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A Very Sad Wedding Planning

YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS JET SKIING WITH MY FIANCE'S BROTHER, I could not stop thinking of Andrea. She’s my Colombian friend and golf teammate from college. I could just imagine Andrea’s face shrieking with joy as the waves crash against a standup jet ski in full throttle. In front of us was a light blue water lagoon; behind were beach resorts peppered with white umbrellas and tourist snorkelers. She would have loved spending all day there, talking about how she could live an island life away from the rat race. 

Right now I’m living in Cebu, Philippines. The ocean is so close to us and we are living in abundance of cheap, fresh fruits and seafood. Meanwhile, Andrea (a girl I call my “favorite” of all my other girlfriends) is in Portland, Oregon interviewing with Nike. In just a year our paths have separated in opposite directions. Me, planning a wedding and she pursuing design. 

Weddings are a celebration of love and binding families. With all the fluff of bridal books, Pinterest-worthy ideas and input of planners, weddings are supposed to be maniacal money-sucking lavish parties. You can do what you want! You can be bridezilla and it’s okay! Nonetheless it has the different effect on me — sadness.

I’m missing too many people. Every time I look at minute wedding details such as boutonniere or non-flower bouquets, I think of Jonathan. He’s an especially close and trusted pal of mine for almost ten years. When my family needed help setting up our new house in Cavite, he painted walls and refurnished our cabinets. I’ve never met anyone as practical and ingenious, so how I wish my best friend would be my decorator and planner. But he lives in Manila — too far away.

My maid-of-honor is Lyra, another close pal for almost a decade. She will be flying from Hongkong on my wedding week. Her familiar face and presence are more than enough as a gift, so I don’t even want to bother with bridal extras. I’m a proponent of accepting things as is, so if I have no friends around, I won’t expect a bridal shower. My friends in San Francisco — Sasha, Inez, Julie, Mariana, Sierra, Melissa — are the ones who saw me failing and winning in the last few years. They saw me sneaking in a corner to take long-distances call from my soon-to-be husband. Or they shooed away potential suitors. The stories and the laughter, that’s what I miss and that’s what I would like in my entourage. 

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Planning a wedding is very different from planning a wedding without parents. I wish I could ask my mom about Roman Catholic rituals or other weddings in my family. Heck — I wish she was just beside me so I could hear her voice. Jovi and I spoke about being prepared, just in case none of my parents could make it at my wedding. My throat chokes up at the thought, but I’m prepared to walk by myself down the aisle. So for those who have parents who might be helping or causing some stress: just be thankful. That’s better than none. 

My wedding, so far, has me craving for the familiar — for family. I know very well that I’m part of a new family now. But there’s still something to say about a mother’s practical comment or picking shoes and dresses with a sister. What is too much to ask when somebody offers help? There have been many kind queries, from job offers to actual roles in the ceremony. I just wish I would know them better to gauge if they are asking out of politeness or sincerity. Or maybe this is the event that will spark new friendships and relationships I crave for.

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Photo by JJ Alvarez 

As Edwin Muir wrote in his 1943 poem, The Confirmation: "Yes, yours my love, is the right human face." Jovi is the most comforting and friendliest face I see everyday. He makes sure I’m never too hungry, tired, or bored (it’s awesome). Yesterday, he ran from the mall to cancel my foot spa, so he could feed me Andok’s chicken. When I told him I miss my mom, he said:

“It’s okay, I can be your Mom. If you want, I could also be your Dad in the golf course when we play.”

He and I discussed destierro first before booking our suppliers. He had pulled lots of strings so we could get first in line for everything. Poor guy was sore for four days after I forced him to swing kettle bells. He is kind, patient and supportive. When I need to cry, he lets me, then feeds me and quietly drives me home. I never knew he’d have this much caress in him.

I don’t know how my situation could be different. It’s a simple reality from moving to a new city without friends and family. I miss my loves — so much so that all I could think about is what we’ll do together once they’re here. More than a wedding, I’m looking for a home-coming. On my wedding day, my friends and family will witness my new life. And if they like it, I hope they’ll come back to visit me.   

Letter To Myself 10 Years Ago

At 13 years old, it was a rough life for me. Inspired by Simple Dollar's Trent, today I write about what I wish I knew ten years ago. 


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Dear Crystal,

Today you are 23 years old. You're leaving the US after five years of building a life there, worked and saved the most you've ever made in your life, and engaged to marry your life partner of almost a decade. Right now might be hard to imagine that this was all possible, so I'll just pop in a few suggestions to guide you along.

Right now, take your scrapbook and diary and write with full honesty. Your dream now is to become the best Filipina golfer. But there are other things you should write about too - your favorite things, friends, hurts, lessons and places. In this lifetime you will travel and move so many times, your one regret is that you did not document deservedly.

Do not be afraid. For those many years of going to bed in fear -- failing in golf, disappointing sponsors, hearing criticism from other golfers or their parents -- all this will become irrelevant in due time. In fact, not even your parents will bear weigh in your direction. It's your life. And only your own spirit and creation will propel you to a life you deserve.

Save money. As a woman, it's the single thing that will root your independence and freedom. When you are free as you wish to spend on things you deem important, that confidence will spread in every area of your life. You'd be able to plan for the long-term. You will never see men as a free ticket; instead, your relationships will become equal in power and autonomy. Practice self-control, discipline, minimalism and ingenuity in creating value.

Lastly, this is the most important thing that will clarify many things for you: master your authentic voice. Media, backstabbers and clutter are distractions. When you fluctuate in weight until you find the perfect medium, accept that that's a process you have to take. The abuse you will see and experience in your life is a reflection of the aggressor's hurt -- not yours. It's okay to be weird, frugal, addicted to reading and exercise, to cry about rape stories, and care deeply about color and nature. After being who you are, everything else is noise. Soon enough, you will meet a guy who will love, trust and support you fiercely more than you can. He will respect you for being real.

Amid the noise, you'll discover what will perpetually matter: family, independence, love, reading and writing, and a growing list of organic goals. It's golf for you right now, but in the future, it might be a burning desire to see Cape Town, South Africa. In 10 years it really won't get easier, but continue to trust that it will unfold beautifully as you do your best everyday.

Best Wishes,

Your 23-year Old Self

Hello - First Post!

I'm an information geek. I read massive amounts of pages (web or book, either way) everyday, often highlighting them in my personal notes or sharing them with people in proximity.

This blog is about sharing my knowledge to a bigger circle -- and perhaps helping someone else live better, faster, fuller.

Cheers!