4 Days In Bacolod, Philippines And Married life

THIS TRIP TO BACOLOD is our third as husband and wife, but just about now I realise what’s the difference between being married and not.

I'm Married! Our Wedding, Part 2

I'M NOW OFFICIALLY CRYSTAL NERI, married to Jovi after many years of being together. Here's Part 2 of a two-part series, with the final same-day edit video and a list of everyone that made it happen for us. 

Our wedding suppliers: Giving business to our friends

Our simple gold wedding bands are from Suarez and Sons.

 

Our wonderful coordinator, Tonette Carcel, was recommended to us by my flower girl’s mom, Justeen.  

Tonette Malagar Carcel (7th person from left), our on-the-day wedding coordinator, with us and her team.

The reception decor was made my Hansel, one of the waiters at Cebu Country Club. 

Jovi's drawing hanging in the DIY arch. Lots of guests took pictures here 

What a glorious day to get married. No rain!

Pink Flora’s Pinky Chang, who made the bridal bouquet, is a friend of my mother-in-law. 

Chateau De Busay serving their famous Humba. In the menu, there's roasted beef (baka), fish fillet, pancit & more.

The house band, Mofo, and On The Cover band have the same guitarist that Jovi have been watching for 20 years. 

Our rehearsal dinner caterer, Creative Cuisine, is owned by our neighbour, Derek. Even our transportation guy, Fernando, who provided us vans and drivers, is Jovi’s friend. It was surreal to see all this labor of love come together in one special event.

People I'm Thankful For

First of all, I’m grateful to my husband, Jovi. He planned 70% of our wedding with grit to the detail. Just a few nights before the Big Day, Jovi was crunching 320 names in the spreadsheet for seating arrangements. He shows his kindness in a specific way. Case in point: nobody knew he invited about 7 caddies in our reception and even gave them money for transportation. Our wedding is proof of how much he loves me –  it not only benefitted me – but also the people around us that we made happy. To my husband: you are my favourite person in the universe and I love you to the world. 

Mom Nelia, Jovi, and Dad Julius at Bauhinia

My parents-in-law, Nelia & Julius, were tremendous help. Mom Nelia took charge of the entourage attire, flowers, alcohol, and more.  The night before the wedding day, I broke down in tears because four barongs’  and a dress were MIA. She called my coordinator the next day with words, “It’s taken care of.” Rumours she called the laundry store owner. For our jewelry, 20th century silver arrhaes, expert hosting at the Rehearsal Dinner, and a bunch of things I have no space to list here, she took charge of.

One of my most fave pics with my mom. The Mercedes conked twice on the way to the church – but we just laughed along the way.

I'm thankful to my mother, Grace, for her presence. In my wedding day speech, I choked on the part sharing how much my mom has sacrificed for our family. She flew to Cebu after not being home in the Philippines for over six years. And she was finally there, making me laugh in my bridal car, walking me down the aisle and experiencing my new life and family in Cebu. She’s came to Cebu for me, even if it wasn't easy. 

Vanessa and the hair team of Chris made me look like this

I am super thankful for my makeup artist, Vanessa. Jovi might be annoyed by this right now, but when I look at our wedding pictures, I can’t stop saying, “Jov, I’m so pretty. Did you know I’m this pretty pala?” For the big & beautiful cake supplied by San Jose Bakeshop's Jojo. For my maid-of-honor, Lyra, who is such a trooper in the midst of a big and chaotic Filipino wedding. For my friends at JFDI Asia, whose CEO Hugh Mason attended the event. My colleagues (Nelia, Mee-ann & Edrian) did two surprise song numbers for me. For Marko’s fantastic beach house that my family enjoyed. To the Neri and Garcia family - Lotlot organized my bridal shower, Nini & Pio hosted the reception and played music, the nephews and nieces (Isabel, Julian, Ines and Mikkel) did a surprise song number, and 11-year old Bianca played Canon D live at the processional. [On a side note: how talented is this family?]

My nephews and nieces singing (from left to right): Nessi, Mikkel, Nini and Julian

My JFDI colleagues belted out 2 surprise songs for me. From left to right: Meeann, Edrian and Nelia

My JFDI family with the Lerma brothers. #spotsmoochy

Getting Married - How That Was Like

My husband and his family are loved by many people, and I’m an umbrella to their graces. We ended up putting together an event that is not to be featured on Bride and Breakfast, but is meaningful and true to us. When my cousins from Guimaras went home to tell their mom what happened, they were choking because they can’t finish their sentences. My best friend, Jonathan, is at loss for words on how everything turned out. Lyra and Sam, my friends in college, returned to their countries with stories of whaleshark sight-seeing and delicious roasted pig tastings.

My husband and I just opened hundreds of weddings gifts and are even more stunned. As those things are put away in storage for now, I'm living my days with Jovi thinking pretty much one thought: "OMG, I love this person so much." And I'm married to him.

          Here's our same day edit video, courtesy of Storyteller. 

Travel Blog: El Nido and Puerto Princesa, Palawan

HERE'S THE 6-DAY ITINERARY OF OUR HONEYMOON trip to Palawan, Philippines. I'm writing about the El Nido and Puerto Princesa highlights such as the Underground River, limestone island-hopping tours, and more. 

I'm Married! Our Wedding, Part 1

I'M NOW OFFICIALLY CRYSTAL NERI, married to Jovi after many years of being together. This is inside story of how we planned our wedding and the people and choices that guided our decisions. Here's Part 1 of this two-part series, starting with the planning stages.

"Your wedding should reflect who you are as everyday people."

TRAVEL: Bohol, Philippines

SOMETHING OTHER THAT RELAXING in Alona Beach and seeing the Chocolate Hills and tarsiers made me remember why I need to travel. Here are stories from my Labor Day weekend in Bohol, Philippines.

If there’s anything I learned from public school where we had 100 kids in one classroom, or going to a US college with towering foreigners, or attending free walking tours in San Francisco with either middle-aged Europeans or American elderly, it’s this – always stick next to the teacher/speaker/tour guide. They know best and they’ll make one’s learning richer.

That’s my thought early morning of May 2nd. 

I’m in Bohol and about to take a Day Tour. Determined to explore and get to know the island as much as I can, I have forgone my sleeping girlfriends (Nelia, G., and Melanie), my own fatigue, and spending more than I budgeted. “I’m going by myself,” I said. I planned to sit next to the driver for the next 8-hours of the tour.

What To Do In Bohol

The famous Chocolate Hills, dome-shaped hills made of grass-covered limestone

TRAVEL: Siquijor Island, Philippines

As I walked up the hill–onto the centre of the Healing Festival–I was surprised to see nothing. People were gathered in small groups, vendors stationed their dried-leaf potions on the sides, and signs were put up advertising for hilot (massage). Nothing in this would differ from a typical probinsya fiesta. There were even horses you can ride for 10 pesos and live music by a local guitarista. 

I was at the Bandilaan Mountain Park in Siquijor, Negros Oriental. That day was Good Friday and my friends (Nelia, Rachel, Mya) and I trekked up the mountains for the Healing Festival. The signage said:

The Healing Festival is a showcase of healers and herbalists gathered together to perform their rituals, traditional healing practices, the renewal of their healing powers and the preparation of the medicanal potions believed to cure a variety of ailments.

I positioned myself in front of the small huts and patiently observed the healers. One man who had been working with an elder lady, did something I've never seen before: he blew bubbles in a round glass filled with water and one blue ball. He'd then chant prayers on a side, in front of a single white candle. I didn't think much of this until a 15-something girl approached him. He blew the bubbles, as usual, but sent her away immediately. "You're OK, nothing's wrong. You can leave," he said quietly.

I was able to observe this because I tried the traditional healing myself. I walked up to an elder lady dressed in white. Since I don't speak Bisaya, I just gestured and said, "Ako din po. Gusto ko din." (I'd like to try that too). To start, she massaged my head with oil from a small, roll-on container. It hurt. Then she would press parts of my chest and arm that made me wince. "Ate, bakit masakit? (Why is it hurting?), I asked. "Kasi masakit ulo, mo diba?" (Because your head hurts, right?). I did have an oncoming headache at the moment. 


After a few minutes of doing that to parts of my leg, she rubbed me with lana. As I understood, it's their version of homemade massage oil. I saw that hers had bits of leaves in it. To give respect, I didn't shower until the next day to let whatever she did (including the chanting and blowing) absorb fully.

Turns out, this wasn't your typical fiesta.

Love potions | Siquijor, Philippines

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Being in Siquijor to me, felt like a refreshing probinsya. No malls, no big stores, a few cars–heck, zero phone reception. The town is incredibly slow and quiet. I was delighted to see houses made in either nipa (a material made from a palm tree common in Pacific islands) or bare hollow blocks. It was so simple, so different from what I've seen in Cavite, California or even rural parts of Cebu. 

But then you'd get pockets of luxury like U Story. Owned by a Frenchwoman and her Filipino chef husband, together they built this Bali-inspired resto, lounge area and guest house. The woman owner designed the furniture herself and had it custom-built. I appreciate that attention to details–it made the place texture-rich yet cohesive. My friends and I had dinner there on Maundy Thursday and came back the next day to enjoy the views in daylight. 

Starting from back left: Tony, Mel, Crystal (author), Nelia, Mya and Rachel

Meet my new friend, 10-year old Mya! I hope to someday introduce her to my sister, Ace.

Good Friday lounging at U Story

Bali-inspired decor

Holy week spent well with these girls

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I'm back to Cebu now, after three-days and two nights in Siquijor. I'm happy to get WiFi and sleep in an air-conditioned room again, but I was so glad to have done the trip. 

Rachel and her daughter, Mya 

First of all, I'm thankful to have met new friends–Rachel and Mya Roberts–both so kind and game. I have a kindred with explorer personality types, ones that don't care about mosquitoes, bumpy tricycle rides, and backpacking-style travel. As expected, vendors and drivers raised their prices on us (sometimes double) as we're a foreign group. But we knew better and negotiated to the bones. The total cost for my trip was barely Php 3,000. 

Nelia (left) and Mel (right) at the Danish Lagoon

I'm also thankful for Nelia Monet, my colleague at JFDI and new-found travel buddy. We've only known each other for a month but she's tagged me along Malaspascua and Siquijor already. On this trip, I also met her sister, Melanie. 






At the end of the Healing Festival, I had my palms read. I also tried card reading, just to see what psychic would say about my upcoming wedding. In general, they were all positive readings–with a few reflective points. I immediately typed them on my phone, so I won't forget. However, no details will be revealed in this blog. ;-) 

That's it, Siquijor–I can't wait to explore more Philippine islands.

-C.

Author's sunset shot at the Santander Express Port

                                                                             _____

Things I Like About JFDI

What's been keeping me busy these days is my new job as Social Media and Content Marketing Manager at JFDI Asia. In short, I handle our socials and make sure we have awesome content. How I am today – giddy and challenged and fulfilled – is a far cry from what I've been the past few months.

My biggest worry about moving to Cebu was finding the right  kind of work (also, earning a liveable salary). Did you know that unemployment is in the Top 10 traumas for a human being? Going through that was like living a nightmare. Add to that I was also very picky with how I spent my time. I didn't play golf, even if my fiancé often does, as it is something I consider irrelevant.



I didn't take any "survival" job either. I worked in San Diego for year and saved 50% of my salary, so I can be deliberate in finding work in Cebu. I want a position that would force a learning curve in writing and digital media. 

One of the most important points in Dr. Meg Jay's book, 'The Defining Decade' is about spending "your 20's learning." She adds, "Salary is roughly equivalent to your skills. In your 20's don't expect to earn money. You simply don't have the experience. Instead, you should spend this decade learning and absorbing as much as you can. Hopefully by the time you're in your 30's, money shouldn't be a problem." There's a lot of easy-money dead-end jobs, that even my fellow 20-something friends are forced to take. 

One day while browsing Mynimo (an online forum like Craigslist), I saw a job opening in socials for a company called JFDI Asia. Three interviews and a writing trial later, I was hired. I was that overdressed lady you probably saw fist-pumping at the intersection of Cardinal Rosales and Mindanao Avenue on a hot afternoon. At that moment, everything felt so right. 

JFDI Asia is a Singapore-based accelerator. In short, they help venture-fundable startups. Right now my job has me reading and writing about technology, entrepreneurship, risk mitigation, etc. – things I have never written before in my life. This week I had to make an MIT paper web-friendly. I'm racking my brain everyday, but this is exactly the learning curve I'm looking for.



Day One of my employment, I sent out a tweet that JFDI is so cool. Our company mascot is a frog we call Smoochy (#spotsmoochy).


I'll share with you the Four JFDI Principles listed in our employee handbook. I'm very fond of them and believe they can be applied in all areas of life:

4 Principles Of JFDI 

1. Resourcefulness Principle - You should assume that at any given time, other people are busy with their own work, so if you can accomplish something or find an answer to a question without bothering someone else, you should try to do that first. 

This filters all the ignoramus and annoying people out of our offices. It means I can work in peace, except when somebody really needs something from me. I heard this story once about JFDI Chairman Meng Wong. One of my coworkers needed some information, so Meng told the guy to: first, google like crazy; second, hit his head in the wall; third, (if that's still not working) only then ask someone. No spoon-feeding works for us, so we can focus on big wins.

2. Relevance Principle - avoid unnecessarily taxing the attention of people who don’t care. 

3. Searchability Principle - make the communication available on demand to anyone looking for it.

We use the Slack app to make office communication seamless. We don't like email because info gets buried there. So in the Slack's editorial channel, I get almost real-time feedback from my editor, Joyce Huang. All of us gets to read and learn from company 'critical incidents,' something we all talk about weekly. I also get to easily reach out to our CEO Hugh Mason and Chairman Meng Wong, would I ever need quotes. Searchability supports our resourcefulness principle, which in turn supports...

4. Openness Principle - default to the medium which is the most open for the communication at hand.

Openness has long been cited as a hallmark trait in successful marriages. How would I have known these works in company culture too? Everything is online for us to read, check and use. Openness very well ties into searchability and resourcefulness which all, in turn, optimise our work flows. We don't have to rely on other people to 'send us this..' (OK, sometimes we still do). We use Asana for tasks, Nimble for contacts, SlimWiki for company SOP's, and Slack for office chitchat. All open, searchable, paperless, efficient and awesome.

Hi from the office! We use Hangouts to touch base with the Singapore team.

Cal Newport in his book, 'So Good They Can't Ignore You,' talked about three things that define great work:

1. Creativity

2. Impact

3. Control

My work today is giving me autonomy and flexibility. I can clearly see the impact of my work in Hubspot metrics, feedback from my colleagues and retweets and follows from tech people on Twitter. When I get better, I'll eventually handle Inbound Marketing, a skill I consider highly valuable in today's connected world. So, I cleared all of Newport's requirements.

Every morning I sit in the garden or take a few minutes in the car to pinch myself. This is the reality of where I am at the moment. I've left my life in San Francisco/San Diego to move to Cebu, Philippines. I'm getting married soon. Despite of being picky and specific, I found the job that I'm looking for.

I read this from Paulo Coelho as a kid and it still holds true today:

Crystal Superal is the Social Media and Content Marketer at JFDI, the #1 business accelerator in Asia. She finished her Multimedia Communications degree while playing golf for a San Francisco-based art school. She currently lives in Cebu City, Philippines. For her thoughts about tech and lifehacks, follow her Twitter @crystalsuperal.