How I Learn By Jovi Neri

THIS SERIES IS ABOUT PEOPLE I admire answering the question: "How Do You Learn?" According to the dictionary:  learn (verb) means to gain or acquire knowledge of or skill in by study, experience, or being taught. I want, and hopefully my readers as well, to pick up lessons from individuals who are happy, socially responsible and uniquely successful. 

I started off by answering this question myself, and now it's time to pass the baton to Jovi Neri. He is my fiancé and my biggest influencer. Other than being a lawyer, Jovi is the owner of REDGOLF, a golf store in Cebu, Philippines. 

Location: Cebu, Philippines 
Current Gig: Owner (REDGOLF), Lawyer at J. Neri Associates and Artist and Golfer

How I Learn By Jovi Neri

Jovi Neri: businessman, golfer, artist and lawyer.

What Inspires You?

I'm inspired by two F's - fiancé and family.  First, my fiancee is 14 years younger than me and she is very healthy (and sexy!).  So this inspires me to live a long and productive life with her. The only way to achieve it is through good health of both the body and mind. I don't want her to be taking care of bed-ridden me in my older age. I want to be going in adventures with her no matter what age I am.  So I try to live a healthy and active lifestyle so I can stay physically fit and mentally sharp. (Ed Note: Kilig. )

The second F is family and the values passed on to me from them - either from teaching or from simply observing. It's something I want to live by and pass on to everyone I meet.  My parents are approaching their 40th anniversary.  My grandparents had a big 50th wedding anniversary, then a 51st wedding anniversary where their grandkids (us!) sang Broadway hits to them, and finally their 60th anniversary in a cruise.  I want to have a relationship with my wife and children to be like that. Strong family ties are a hallmark of the Garcia clan which I want to keep.  In the Neri side, there is this calmness in the face of pressure and conflict that I try to emulate.  I try to avoid rash or impulsive actions in the heat of the moment, and distance myself from the situation for a more objective grasp of the situation when face with pressure and problems. I want to be a loyal husband, a family man, and always seeking peace more than conflict.

Describe a typical day.

Wake up.  Coffee while playing with dogs, reading Flipboard.  Then I go to RedGolf and the Law Office, in no particular order and switch places or stay in one place.  In the late afternoon, I try to catch some exercise in the form of gym or jogging in Cebu Country Club.  At night I check and reply to personal emails, do the rounds on social media, switch on the TV if there are sporting events, and of course wait for Crystal's call.

What Do You Check Or Read Everyday?

Jovi and his comic art collection

I read Flipboard, mostly sports news and some tech news.  I also check Facebook and Twitter everyday.  There are also forums I check: comic art, U2, golf equipment, and other interests.

Who And What Do You Follow?

I follow my friends on social media, and a few athletes and celebrities here and there.  Following my friends are more important though because I always want to know what is up with them in case they'll need my help, or I'll need theirs.

What Influences You The Most?

I am influenced most by the Jesuit and Ignatian slogan of "men and women for others."  One of the best feelings in the world is when you can genuinely help others.  And it gets better when you see them doing the same good things to others what you have done to them.  The best example for me would be how I handled the junior golfers in Cebu Country Club. Even when they were young and annoying, I always showed a genuine care for their lives and games while other adults just brushed them aside.  Suddenly, when they become so good golfers, these adults who ignored them now want to play with them.  The junior golfers can see through that and know it's not genuine.  But because of how I took care of them, I can see their genuine care for the new younger breed - reaching out to play with them and give them advice.  Now this warms my heart.

Kobe Bryant a drawing by Jovi

I also realize I have a God-given talent to draw. Unfortunately, it is not my profession and I don't make money from it. But following the slogan of "man for others", I keep drawing not for myself but to give to others.  That way, God will keep my talent sharp because I am using it and sharing it now.

My role models have gone out of their way to help others.  From U2 using their celebrity and music to fight poverty and AIDS, to basketball player Robert Jaworski who would never leave the arena until every fan got an autograph or picture because he always said they owe it to the fans, and many more examples like Pope Francis - it comes down to my Jesuit upbringing being my biggest influence in how I conduct myself.

When you help others, you give a part of yourself to them, and when you see yourself in them - you can truly find yourself and know who your really are - not by looking in the mirror but by looking at how you've touched their lives. That's always how I've seen it.

What Is A Book Or Movie That Changed You?

What's So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancey.


Who Would You Like To Learn From?

Jovi, President of Cebu Junior Golf for 8 years

First, I'd like to learn from the youth. There is a lure to me on the purity and innocence of youth as it is still filled with idealism, honesty, and integrity while not yet being corrupted and jaded. They also have this inner nature in detecting if people are genuine or not, and you can see it in how they react towards you or others. I know since I have been handling junior golf for 8 years. So as long as they understand and enjoy you, as opposed to just giving you respect out of fear and deferential treatment to authority - then you know you are still being genuine and acting from the heart. And when you approach them with an open mind, you'll actually learn a lot of life lessons you won't learn from an adult, or you'll remember things from your own youth that adulthood made you forget.

Second, I'd like to learn from the older people.  Most of them have a tendency to keep on talking so much as they reminisce on their younger days.  But there is a lot of wisdom to learn from their words and experiences.  The key is to listen with an open mind.

The secret to learning which not many people follow is: listen to absorb and understand; and not listen to reply, comment, or scrutinize.  Many people nowadays just listen to you, having pre-planned in their minds what their reply will be, or are just waiting for you to end your sentence to they can give their opinions, instead of seeking the value in what you have to say.  I try to be so self-conscious about this and really listen to people when they are talking -especially if it is about their own personal experiences.

Do You Have A Sacred Daily Ritual?

Tucking in my shirt before I sleep at night.

What's A Turning Point For You?

There is no single turning point.  It's the unlikely bumps in life that could never be explained other than just "fate" that you later on realize you'd never be what you are if not for those things. Then it has a domino effect.

If I did not go to Cebu Country Club one summer in 1990 and notice the junior program in full force, I would never longed to play golf the following year.  If I did not play golf, what would I be? Some math whiz? Someone who pursued my art? Would basketball be my sport as an undersized benchwarmer?

Jovi and I in Santa Monica, CA 2012

After finishing law school, I wanted to teach law in the University of Cebu. I wasn't allowed because I needed law experience to teach. So I focused my energies that longed to help others to Junior Golf instead.  If not for that, would I have even met my future wife?

What about open heart surgery? Or close-calls to major car accidents? There are just many different incidents that could be turning points because the pieces just fell into place so correctly that it could not just be mere coincidence.  Every day, I feel I have lived through so many turning points that this life has a purpose which I am always trying to find.

What Essential Things Do You Need To Do Good Work?

I need a peaceful and alert mind, and a healthy 
up-and-about body - all with no distractions.


What Do You Know For Sure?

The strongest weapon is love.

I'd love Bono To Answer These Questions (but I don't think he ever will!).

How I Learn by Crystal Superal

We all have unique beliefs and ways to gather news and information. Lifehacker has a series called, "How I Work"; Oprah is known for her "What I Know For Sure"; and Bianca Gonzales writes for Philstar for "10 Things."  

So if you met the person you admire, the best thing to tell them is: "I'm a fan of your work. How do you learn?" From today onward, I'm starting a series asking people this question, starting with me.

How I Learn by Crystal Superal

What Inspires You?

This quote from Mother Theresa: "You cannot always do great things, but you can always do small things with great love." I always remember that when I'm overwhelmed.

Describe a typical day.

I wake up at 5:30AM to get ready for work. First on my plate is producing a sports commentary, "Hacksaws Headlines." Then throughout the day, I gather news topics related to our show. I scan the internet for the most important topics of today. 

One of the most important habits for me is my afternoon nap. Then at about 5PM, I read, workout, or usually take my brother Wolen out to explore San Diego. Weekends are reserved for cleaning, pampering, and errands.

What do you check or read everyday?

Lifehacker - I cannot emphasize how big of a fan I am of Lifehacker. I love their productivity hacks, and recently, their posts about finance and marriage.

The Atlantic -  Best new analytics site in the world. Here, headlines are broken down to simpler terms and put in context to a global scale. When I read the Ta-Nehesi Coates', 'Case For Reparations,' I wept. 

Who And What Do You Follow?

Brainpickings - exceptional content day in and day out.

Maria Popova of Brainpickings  (Art, Science, Culture) - most remarkable universal content for visuals and literary types. 

Jean of Extrapetite (Fashion) - I credit her for streamlining my wardrobe. 

Trent of Simple Dollar (Personal Finance) - I'm constantly astounded by the depth and gravity of his daily blog.

Gretchen Rubin of Happiness Project (Productivity, Happiness) - Her book is funny, backed with research, succinct and relevant. 

99U (Creativity) - constantly injects me with fresh ideas.

Those are the main ones but I also regularly check Lynne Rosetta Casper of Splendid Table. Her foodie podcast is incredibly enriching. A few years ago, I discovered Rick Steves  of Traveling With Rick Steves. He inspires me to backpack in Europe. 

Carlos, a renowned Manila tour guide (left) and Sarah, a businesswoman/host/model.

Lastly, my two favorite Filipinos are true to their authentic voice, courageous and improves the Philippines everyday: Carlos Celdran and Sarah Meier. 

What Influences You The Most?

My fiancé, Jovi Neri. He is the most stable, happiest, and least neurotic person I know. My theory is because he pursues personal fulfillment, which as experts say, is the core of happiness. Our recent conversation involved wiring funds internationally. I just wouldn't have mapped it out as clearly without him.

Forthright, irreverent, logical and bold. My future husband is one I've always admired. 

Other than Jovi, I'm addicted to reading. You could see that from all the sites I follow! Plus I read several books a month. Current on my shelf is Joan Didion's, "A Year Of Magical Thinking" about death and grief, and Oprah's surprisingly pleasant book on happiness.

What Is A Book Or Movie That Changed You?

For books I recommend, "Your Money Or Your Life" which changed my whole outlook about saving. Also, "So Good They Can't Ignore You" by Cal Newport. 

Who Would You Like To Learn From?

For writing, Ray Bradbury. I still haven't known anybody who respected and found joy in writing as much as he did. For traveling, Rick Steves - man's an empire. And I'm still looking for someone to emulate in terms of a whole, fulfilling life.

Do You Have A Sacred Daily Ritual?

When I sit down to eat, I look at my plate and figure out how nutritionally balanced I can make it. I protect my sleep, and I stretch or exercise everyday. I believe it all starts with taking care of yourself, otherwise you can't for other things.

What's A Turning Point For You?

Learning about Don Miguel Ruiz's "Four Agreements" at a young age.

What Essential Things Do You Need To Do Good Work?

1. Yellowpad for free writing.

2. A Macbook is fast, light and beautiful for creative work. Then I upload or organize my files Google+ and Drive.

3. Car. I live for novelty and my car has enabled me. 

My life has exponentially gotten better now that I'm free to go wherever and whenever I want.

What Do You Know For Sure?

If you do not have time for these then you'll definitely have time for illness later on. The three pillars of health: stress, food and exercise. 

I'd love ___ To Answer These Questions.

Jovi Neri, of course.

21 Things I've Learned In 21 Years (Part 2)

This is part 2 of my "21 Things I've Learned In 21 Years" series. For Part 1, click here.


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12. Be impeccable with words, from Don Miguel Ruiz. I became a lot more quiet after learning that "you never have to apologize for anything you didn't say." I used to be tactless. Then I realized people don't hear what you're saying; they hear what they want to hear. Mindless comments break dreams. And positive ones propel them.

Surrealist book art from De Young Museum in San Francisco

13. Love, books.When I was a kid, my mom got me a picture Bible. Until today, I still remember Jesus' stories and its lessons. When I got a little older, she also bought me a 2006 Almanac, probably setting me up for being a random-fact-geek for the rest of my life. When I had troubles in golf, I read books about it. Now that I'm about to enter the workforce, I'm still reading about it. Books are indispensable. If I were to teach my kid one thing one day, that is to love reading, to speed read, and how to properly read a book.

14. Back up everything. One of the things I’ve learned studying digital media is to always backup my files. I try to have three back-ups at least, one in my hard drive, computer, labs, and in an online storing system like Picasa, Youtube, Hotmail, File4Shared, etc. This has saved me a lot of headaches.

A local in Davao, Philippines selling religious woodwork

15. Celebrate the Philippines. In my art, my inspiration is always the Philippines. Wherever I am, I always try to impart how amazing the country is -- from the views to the people and culture. And why not? I'm glad I have a background that I'm proud of. Tourism is something that every Filipino can partake. The problem is our own ignorance. How many of us actually know the Philippines that well? We need to encourage talking about our country with positivity and passion. Cheers to being a proud Pinay.

16. The importance of making putts within nine feet. Before I start, everyone always asks me if I still play golf. Yes, I do and still pretty decent at that. Now, it's time for stats: I looked at my last four rounds and learned that I saved 2.5 strokes just by making a 1.5 stroke improvement in my putting average. Simply, it means that from shooting 79, I lowered it down to 76.5 strokes just by being almost one putt better average per round! These highlight the importance of making putts within that distance. Practice them more. (Update: After college I stopped playing golf, but this still applies.)

17. Determine who and what are your emotional vampires. I define emotional vampires as people who trigger your stress. It can also be things that can hurt you. A few years back, I weeded out those "vampire" people in my life. Horror movies are also a no-no for me now, because I just end up so scared that I can't sleep. If we are more aware of what bugs us, the more we can act to avoid it. I mean, why put yourself through that?

18. Pray, appreciate, and always do your best. Pray to say thanks; appreciate to attract positive vibes from the universe; and always do your best so you can have a life you're proud of.

19. Learn about finance. Money is something we all have to deal with, yet many don't know how. That's why personal finance is a life skill, one that I'm so incredibly fascinated with. 

Things like: We wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time. Therefore I never buy clothing in full price. Another one is making use of free money, such as flight rewards. Today I have three free flights on Southwest after signing up to their rapid rewards program. And I can survive on $20/week allowance on food. My frugality has given me freedom to spend on things that matter to me most.

20. If something is really important to you, you'll always find a way. We've all pulled all sorts of strings to be able to do what we yearn for.

21. Visualize. I've been through a 30-pound weight loss. From a problematic acne-prone face, I now don't even need to mask anything anymore. From quitting golf, I turned it all around, loved golf again, and became a top student-athlete in my school. At night, I take some time to vividly imagine my goals. It only takes 21 consecutive days to form a habit, so if you have strong feelings about anything you want to do, start today. I've had a lot of breakthroughs within these 21 years of my life, and I found that visualizing helped tremendously.

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This is part 2 of my "21 Things I've Learned In 21 Years" series. For Part 1, click here.

Saving Money (Part 2)

(This is the continuation of my 'Saving Money' series. For Part 1, click here.)

The book that started it all for me: "Your Money Or Your Life"

SAVING MONEY TIP #3 - CREATE BARRIERS

The illusion of superiority states we are not who we think we are. So, it helps to have specific anchors to guide us. When it comes to consumption, I create barriers that limit me. 

One of them is to simply avoid temptation. I’ve stopped going to the mall, the money-sucking machine. Instead, I spend a whole lot of time at my favorite lake. Simple Dollar’s Trent likes to leave his wallet in the car, buy  bulk in Amazon for basic nonperishables (to avoid shopping), stick only to the grocery list, carry cash only, etc. Little things like these seem pedantic but everything counts.

SAVING MONEY TIP #4 - MAXIMIZE INCOME

Ramit Sethi argues that there’s a limit to what you can save, but not what you can earn. The book, “So Good They Can’t Ignore You,” details a very specific plan on skills growth, so that the person can be indispensable. Imagine a never-ending stream of skills that every employer dreams of. Or being someone or building something so remarkable and unique, you or your work is considered a “purple cow.”

I started writing this blog for practice, to have fun and to share all I know from stuff I read. After several months of consistent posting, I finally received a request for a paid article - a first in my lifetime. It’s not about the money. But how my theory of self-development, combined with time and effort, finally paid off. Plus, this side gig gives me joy.

Aside from my work and blog, I am an avid cook and baker. I have a binder with a collection of alphabetized recipes, focusing on healthy, affordable meals for a family. I'd love to become a Filipina version of Ina Garten. I also workout every other day, read extensively on health and nutrition, travel, color, essays, personal finance… Point is, I do not ever want to get stuck. I’m maximizing my plethora of knowledge because generally speaking, the more education you have, the more opportunities you get. Therefore, the better quality of life you’ll have.

THE DOWNSIDES OF FRUGALITY

Excessive frugality, a.k.a cheapness, is being such a tightwad that it makes your companions uncomfortable. For example, I always take home my own extra food from restaurants, but I will never scrape down anyone else’s plate for it. I remember once a family friend who got obsessed with recycables. He stops at almost every garbage can and dumps the stuff in his smelly car. Is it worth his time and annoyance of his friends for a few bucks of picking bottles?

Scarcity mindset is believing that there’s not enough in this world to go around. It is rooted from a poverty mindset, where long-term growth is overshadowed by short-term needs. It’s when we are selfish. My tendency is to get guilty of splurging or sharing since my budget is so transparent. I also tend to buy cheap things instead of quality things. (Working on it!) The opposite of scarcity mindset is the abundance mindset.

Limits of saving too much money. Many things are worth the expense -- things that save time, enrich life, education and relationships, etc. Sometimes it’s hard to draw the line between what is enough or when to extend one’s comfort zone.

CONCLUSION

"Your life is the sum of your choices." - Albert Camus

Personal finance is a life skill, something that everyone has to deal with, yet very few know about. I’m thankful for having read “Your Money Or Your Life,” that started me on track. Granted, I cannot explain credits, stocks, retirement accounts or investments yet, but I’m starting to get a good grip on saving.

I do not know if any of my peers take such care in budgeting as I do. I cannot preach them either, because principles are useless unless one experiences them. If my siblings ever come for help, I’m here as a living example. So far, my careful planning has lifted a huge weight off my family and I get tremendous satisfaction on self-reliance.

I have no inheritance or mortgage, nor do I belong to a high-income tax bracket, therefore my finances are simple. I’m young. And that’s precisely the reason why I’m starting as early as possible -- for the highest possible return on investment in this lifetime.

-C. 

(This is the continuation of my 'Saving Money' series. For Part 1, click here.)

Saving Money (Part 1)

MONEY HAS ALWAYS BEEN a fascinating subject. Growing up, I witnessed how different social classes operate. Unlike the U.S. with a middle class, the Philippines’ rich and poor are two very different animals. We had friends who could not put food on the table; at the same time, we mingled with kids who had drivers, yayas, tutors, and vacation homes. So then I wondered: How come?

This question plagued me and changed my perspective about finances. Just like healthy eating, I have two choices: to eat things that either make me healthy or not. So when I spend, I ask: Does this expenditure take me closer to my dreams?

Now that I work and get a steady paycheck, I still remain very frugal. I don’t loan, don’t shop much and save about 60% of my salary. Hard indeed, but I keep myself in check these specific goals:

a. TRAVEL

I've been to seven countries so far and constantly take mini-adventures around San Diego county

As Paulo Coelho would say: “I’m a pilgrim.” If I could live my life observing sunrise and sunsets, I would be a very happy woman. Saving money is one way to fulfill my pilgrim dreams. On my travel wish list:

1. Capetown, South Africa

2. Backpack 11 countries in Europe

b. EYE SURGERY

I’ve been nearsighted since I was 13 years old, because of genes and excessive reading. LASIK is a life-changing procedure that costs about $1,000+.

c. MARRIED LIFE AND
BUILDING OUR FIRST HOME

I recently got engaged. More than a wedding, which I consider an unnecessarily extravagant party, I’m saving for a new life. I’ll be moving back to my country in a new city (Cebu), learning the dialect, looking for a job, acclimating to new friends and family. All these cost quite a pretty dime. Money is tight, so I want to focus on what matters to me in the next few years: an ample home with plenty of light, a complete kitchen and perhaps even an orthopedic mattress.

SAVING MONEY TIP #1 - CULTIVATE FRUGAL BEHAVIOR

Stores manipulate your senses into overspending

People mistaken frugality as depriving them of what they want, but really, it is about saving for things they need. Mantras I live by:

→ “If you have to think about it, it means you don’t need it.”

→ “Buy Experience, Not Things”

→ “Know Needs From Wants”

→ “Wardrobe Color Scheme”

→ “Spend your money where your time is.”

→ Learn The Art Of “savoring”

→ “Lower media consumption. All it does is make you want to buy things you don’t need.” It might be ironic how someone like me who works in media would advocate less of it. Everything around us, screams buy buy buy. A good rule of thumb for things to keep: It must be beautiful, useful, or loved. Otherwise, clutter stores negative energy, says feng shui.

Lifehacker suggests cutting down mainly on two common biggest expenses: transportation and food. For transportation, I get gas at Costco. It’s is the undisputed cheapest gasoline price in my area. I buy in bulk, cook in big batches, freeze often, and watch stores prices. I got it all down to a routine and habit so effective, that my food expense is only $5 a day. I'm currently working on mastering fresh-food-fantastic-cooking on a budget.

SAVING MONEY TIP #2 “YOU MANAGE WHAT YOU MONITOR” 

Best way to curb impulse buying: writing down every penny

Similar to golf statistics or a food diary - we are only truly of aware of things we keep track of. A few years ago, I read “Your Money Or Your Life” that changed my perspective about finances. At the time, I was just in college so I didn’t have income, yet I slowly started by tracking every penny and drafted a personalized spreadsheet. The finance book teaches many other wonderful things, such as how time and money equates life energy. Simple Dollar did a stellar review of the book here.

Once a month, I sit down for 20 minutes to review 

First, I write every expense on an app, called Drafts, on my phone. I simply type it when I look at my receipts at home. Second, I total all the expenses on a piece of yellow pad paper. I do this once a month. Third, I input the numbers on my Google Drive spreadsheet. Then, easily I can find my salary, subtracted by expenses = savings.

Also, on the Drafts app, I have separate wish list. Things there include books, touchless motion sensor garbage cans, Mono price MHD wifi action cameras, etc. When I have extra cash, at least I'm spending it on things I covet long enough to write, and not on not random impulse buys.

Just the fact that I write down every penny makes me conscious of what I buy. Personally, the best reward is finding my savings percentage every month. Right now I average about 50-60% savings from my salary. This is truly one of the best habits I’ve ever conquered, one that allows me to travel, work less, and enjoy leisure without guilt. Frugality begets freedom.

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(To be continued....)

PART 2 is about money saving tips #3 and #4, and the downsides of frugality. Click here. 

Can Someone Really Have It All?

We used to call her "mongol," as she is curve-less and skinny as the pencil brand. Somewhere along the way, she learned to line her eyes, grew hair and hips, developed a taste in clothes and some high-caliber golfing skills.

 "He who does not have an embarrassing childhood photo, cast the first stone." :: Me (left) and Princess (right) in Boracay 2006.

8 YEARS LATER:: Our most recent picture taken in Coronado, July 2014.

My sister, Princess Mary Superal, just won the 2014 US Girl's Junior Championship, the most prestigious golf girls' event in the world. Out of a record 1,188 entries and 162 holes from a 6,718-yard long golf course, she came out the winner. No other home-grown Filipina has achieved this feat.

Last year, she won two gold medals for the Philippines in the SEA Games, a premier golf event in Southeast Asia. She played 24 amateur and professional events last year alone -- "a quite full schedule," Golf Channel commentators noted. When she was 13 years old, she shot a course-record 62 (10-under par) at the Cottonwoods golf course. Nothing in her reaction that day seemed out of the ordinary. She wins often that every time somebody sees me, their first reaction is: "Hey, congrats to your sister!"

I wish those people would understand that the win is not on her list of accomplishments, but who she had become.

On January 16, 1997, Princess was born a preemie, only seven months out. The doctor asked my father to be ready to lose either his wife or child. The baby came out weighing only one-pound and as fragile as a Sardinian blood veal. To recover, the doctors incubated her for a month. My parents deservedly named her as "Princess," as she is our family's royal, precious gift. Her second name, "Mary" is from Mother Mary, my mom's favorite saint.

With Baby Princess:: One of our earliest family photos, 1998

Growing up, Princess did not play, cry, or eat much. When other kids scraped their knees from playing, she observed on the sides, probably thinking how stupid they were. It shocked me one day when my sister pounced on an abusive comment. Many times, she'd been left alone; she had witnessed abuse and bullying, even had her head stitched up. She's not at all innocent as she looks. When challenged, she has two reactions: either fight or laugh.

Her usual response is humor, even at the silliest of things.

Our recent conversation went like this:

Me: "Wolen is having a gout attack... tapos si Lola may gout din daw." 

(Silence)

Princess: "Hala! Ako na yata sunod. Tapos si Ace. Haha" 

Her remarks are unique, sharp. Just yesterday, she was stranded for three hours on an airplane in New York. "I want to be the one to fix this plane!," she texted me. That's her distinct, Superal-way of dealing with adversity: light-hearted and mature. How did she learn all that?

"Age is a high price to pay for maturity."

Arnold Palmer describes golf as, "satisfaction to the soul and frustration to the intellect." So perhaps from hundreds of rounds Princess plays, golf is actually toughening her up. Or maybe from travel or dealing with folks she meets along the way.

Nowadays I only see my sister for one week every year. When I do, I have no other intention (not even talk about golf!) other than to cuddle her. Her small face is like a doll's, as my mother describes. Her hair and skin always needs pampering, for which I take pride in doing. In short, when I'm with her, I just want to take care of her.

I see Princess not just as 42nd in the Women's World Amateur rankings, but as a perpetual transformation from being mongol to beautiful girl to a normal teen, balancing friends and family and an extraordinary talent torn between college or professional golf. A chaotic stage to be in, yet she retains her charity, class and comedy. If this is not someone who has-it-all, she's sure damn close.

(P.S. We love you, Princess.)