10 Fantastic Experiences In My Solo Trip To Surigao Del Norte

HERE ARE MY TOP 10 fantastic experiences traveling solo to Surigao Del Norte for 3 Nights/2 Days.

5 Days In Kauai, Hawaii: Things To See And Do

This 5-day itinerary will take you to 10 tourist spots around Kaua'i, Hawaii. -By Crystal Neri

I'm Married! Our Wedding, Part 2

I'M NOW OFFICIALLY CRYSTAL NERI, married to Jovi after many years of being together. Here's Part 2 of a two-part series, with the final same-day edit video and a list of everyone that made it happen for us. 

Our wedding suppliers: Giving business to our friends

Our simple gold wedding bands are from Suarez and Sons.

 

Our wonderful coordinator, Tonette Carcel, was recommended to us by my flower girl’s mom, Justeen.  

Tonette Malagar Carcel (7th person from left), our on-the-day wedding coordinator, with us and her team.

The reception decor was made my Hansel, one of the waiters at Cebu Country Club. 

Jovi's drawing hanging in the DIY arch. Lots of guests took pictures here 

What a glorious day to get married. No rain!

Pink Flora’s Pinky Chang, who made the bridal bouquet, is a friend of my mother-in-law. 

Chateau De Busay serving their famous Humba. In the menu, there's roasted beef (baka), fish fillet, pancit & more.

The house band, Mofo, and On The Cover band have the same guitarist that Jovi have been watching for 20 years. 

Our rehearsal dinner caterer, Creative Cuisine, is owned by our neighbour, Derek. Even our transportation guy, Fernando, who provided us vans and drivers, is Jovi’s friend. It was surreal to see all this labor of love come together in one special event.

People I'm Thankful For

First of all, I’m grateful to my husband, Jovi. He planned 70% of our wedding with grit to the detail. Just a few nights before the Big Day, Jovi was crunching 320 names in the spreadsheet for seating arrangements. He shows his kindness in a specific way. Case in point: nobody knew he invited about 7 caddies in our reception and even gave them money for transportation. Our wedding is proof of how much he loves me –  it not only benefitted me – but also the people around us that we made happy. To my husband: you are my favourite person in the universe and I love you to the world. 

Mom Nelia, Jovi, and Dad Julius at Bauhinia

My parents-in-law, Nelia & Julius, were tremendous help. Mom Nelia took charge of the entourage attire, flowers, alcohol, and more.  The night before the wedding day, I broke down in tears because four barongs’  and a dress were MIA. She called my coordinator the next day with words, “It’s taken care of.” Rumours she called the laundry store owner. For our jewelry, 20th century silver arrhaes, expert hosting at the Rehearsal Dinner, and a bunch of things I have no space to list here, she took charge of.

One of my most fave pics with my mom. The Mercedes conked twice on the way to the church – but we just laughed along the way.

I'm thankful to my mother, Grace, for her presence. In my wedding day speech, I choked on the part sharing how much my mom has sacrificed for our family. She flew to Cebu after not being home in the Philippines for over six years. And she was finally there, making me laugh in my bridal car, walking me down the aisle and experiencing my new life and family in Cebu. She’s came to Cebu for me, even if it wasn't easy. 

Vanessa and the hair team of Chris made me look like this

I am super thankful for my makeup artist, Vanessa. Jovi might be annoyed by this right now, but when I look at our wedding pictures, I can’t stop saying, “Jov, I’m so pretty. Did you know I’m this pretty pala?” For the big & beautiful cake supplied by San Jose Bakeshop's Jojo. For my maid-of-honor, Lyra, who is such a trooper in the midst of a big and chaotic Filipino wedding. For my friends at JFDI Asia, whose CEO Hugh Mason attended the event. My colleagues (Nelia, Mee-ann & Edrian) did two surprise song numbers for me. For Marko’s fantastic beach house that my family enjoyed. To the Neri and Garcia family - Lotlot organized my bridal shower, Nini & Pio hosted the reception and played music, the nephews and nieces (Isabel, Julian, Ines and Mikkel) did a surprise song number, and 11-year old Bianca played Canon D live at the processional. [On a side note: how talented is this family?]

My nephews and nieces singing (from left to right): Nessi, Mikkel, Nini and Julian

My JFDI colleagues belted out 2 surprise songs for me. From left to right: Meeann, Edrian and Nelia

My JFDI family with the Lerma brothers. #spotsmoochy

Getting Married - How That Was Like

My husband and his family are loved by many people, and I’m an umbrella to their graces. We ended up putting together an event that is not to be featured on Bride and Breakfast, but is meaningful and true to us. When my cousins from Guimaras went home to tell their mom what happened, they were choking because they can’t finish their sentences. My best friend, Jonathan, is at loss for words on how everything turned out. Lyra and Sam, my friends in college, returned to their countries with stories of whaleshark sight-seeing and delicious roasted pig tastings.

My husband and I just opened hundreds of weddings gifts and are even more stunned. As those things are put away in storage for now, I'm living my days with Jovi thinking pretty much one thought: "OMG, I love this person so much." And I'm married to him.

          Here's our same day edit video, courtesy of Storyteller. 

21 Things I've Learned In 21 Years (Part 2)

This is part 2 of my "21 Things I've Learned In 21 Years" series. For Part 1, click here.


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12. Be impeccable with words, from Don Miguel Ruiz. I became a lot more quiet after learning that "you never have to apologize for anything you didn't say." I used to be tactless. Then I realized people don't hear what you're saying; they hear what they want to hear. Mindless comments break dreams. And positive ones propel them.

Surrealist book art from De Young Museum in San Francisco

13. Love, books.When I was a kid, my mom got me a picture Bible. Until today, I still remember Jesus' stories and its lessons. When I got a little older, she also bought me a 2006 Almanac, probably setting me up for being a random-fact-geek for the rest of my life. When I had troubles in golf, I read books about it. Now that I'm about to enter the workforce, I'm still reading about it. Books are indispensable. If I were to teach my kid one thing one day, that is to love reading, to speed read, and how to properly read a book.

14. Back up everything. One of the things I’ve learned studying digital media is to always backup my files. I try to have three back-ups at least, one in my hard drive, computer, labs, and in an online storing system like Picasa, Youtube, Hotmail, File4Shared, etc. This has saved me a lot of headaches.

A local in Davao, Philippines selling religious woodwork

15. Celebrate the Philippines. In my art, my inspiration is always the Philippines. Wherever I am, I always try to impart how amazing the country is -- from the views to the people and culture. And why not? I'm glad I have a background that I'm proud of. Tourism is something that every Filipino can partake. The problem is our own ignorance. How many of us actually know the Philippines that well? We need to encourage talking about our country with positivity and passion. Cheers to being a proud Pinay.

16. The importance of making putts within nine feet. Before I start, everyone always asks me if I still play golf. Yes, I do and still pretty decent at that. Now, it's time for stats: I looked at my last four rounds and learned that I saved 2.5 strokes just by making a 1.5 stroke improvement in my putting average. Simply, it means that from shooting 79, I lowered it down to 76.5 strokes just by being almost one putt better average per round! These highlight the importance of making putts within that distance. Practice them more. (Update: After college I stopped playing golf, but this still applies.)

17. Determine who and what are your emotional vampires. I define emotional vampires as people who trigger your stress. It can also be things that can hurt you. A few years back, I weeded out those "vampire" people in my life. Horror movies are also a no-no for me now, because I just end up so scared that I can't sleep. If we are more aware of what bugs us, the more we can act to avoid it. I mean, why put yourself through that?

18. Pray, appreciate, and always do your best. Pray to say thanks; appreciate to attract positive vibes from the universe; and always do your best so you can have a life you're proud of.

19. Learn about finance. Money is something we all have to deal with, yet many don't know how. That's why personal finance is a life skill, one that I'm so incredibly fascinated with. 

Things like: We wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time. Therefore I never buy clothing in full price. Another one is making use of free money, such as flight rewards. Today I have three free flights on Southwest after signing up to their rapid rewards program. And I can survive on $20/week allowance on food. My frugality has given me freedom to spend on things that matter to me most.

20. If something is really important to you, you'll always find a way. We've all pulled all sorts of strings to be able to do what we yearn for.

21. Visualize. I've been through a 30-pound weight loss. From a problematic acne-prone face, I now don't even need to mask anything anymore. From quitting golf, I turned it all around, loved golf again, and became a top student-athlete in my school. At night, I take some time to vividly imagine my goals. It only takes 21 consecutive days to form a habit, so if you have strong feelings about anything you want to do, start today. I've had a lot of breakthroughs within these 21 years of my life, and I found that visualizing helped tremendously.

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This is part 2 of my "21 Things I've Learned In 21 Years" series. For Part 1, click here.

Saving Money (Part 2)

(This is the continuation of my 'Saving Money' series. For Part 1, click here.)

The book that started it all for me: "Your Money Or Your Life"

SAVING MONEY TIP #3 - CREATE BARRIERS

The illusion of superiority states we are not who we think we are. So, it helps to have specific anchors to guide us. When it comes to consumption, I create barriers that limit me. 

One of them is to simply avoid temptation. I’ve stopped going to the mall, the money-sucking machine. Instead, I spend a whole lot of time at my favorite lake. Simple Dollar’s Trent likes to leave his wallet in the car, buy  bulk in Amazon for basic nonperishables (to avoid shopping), stick only to the grocery list, carry cash only, etc. Little things like these seem pedantic but everything counts.

SAVING MONEY TIP #4 - MAXIMIZE INCOME

Ramit Sethi argues that there’s a limit to what you can save, but not what you can earn. The book, “So Good They Can’t Ignore You,” details a very specific plan on skills growth, so that the person can be indispensable. Imagine a never-ending stream of skills that every employer dreams of. Or being someone or building something so remarkable and unique, you or your work is considered a “purple cow.”

I started writing this blog for practice, to have fun and to share all I know from stuff I read. After several months of consistent posting, I finally received a request for a paid article - a first in my lifetime. It’s not about the money. But how my theory of self-development, combined with time and effort, finally paid off. Plus, this side gig gives me joy.

Aside from my work and blog, I am an avid cook and baker. I have a binder with a collection of alphabetized recipes, focusing on healthy, affordable meals for a family. I'd love to become a Filipina version of Ina Garten. I also workout every other day, read extensively on health and nutrition, travel, color, essays, personal finance… Point is, I do not ever want to get stuck. I’m maximizing my plethora of knowledge because generally speaking, the more education you have, the more opportunities you get. Therefore, the better quality of life you’ll have.

THE DOWNSIDES OF FRUGALITY

Excessive frugality, a.k.a cheapness, is being such a tightwad that it makes your companions uncomfortable. For example, I always take home my own extra food from restaurants, but I will never scrape down anyone else’s plate for it. I remember once a family friend who got obsessed with recycables. He stops at almost every garbage can and dumps the stuff in his smelly car. Is it worth his time and annoyance of his friends for a few bucks of picking bottles?

Scarcity mindset is believing that there’s not enough in this world to go around. It is rooted from a poverty mindset, where long-term growth is overshadowed by short-term needs. It’s when we are selfish. My tendency is to get guilty of splurging or sharing since my budget is so transparent. I also tend to buy cheap things instead of quality things. (Working on it!) The opposite of scarcity mindset is the abundance mindset.

Limits of saving too much money. Many things are worth the expense -- things that save time, enrich life, education and relationships, etc. Sometimes it’s hard to draw the line between what is enough or when to extend one’s comfort zone.

CONCLUSION

"Your life is the sum of your choices." - Albert Camus

Personal finance is a life skill, something that everyone has to deal with, yet very few know about. I’m thankful for having read “Your Money Or Your Life,” that started me on track. Granted, I cannot explain credits, stocks, retirement accounts or investments yet, but I’m starting to get a good grip on saving.

I do not know if any of my peers take such care in budgeting as I do. I cannot preach them either, because principles are useless unless one experiences them. If my siblings ever come for help, I’m here as a living example. So far, my careful planning has lifted a huge weight off my family and I get tremendous satisfaction on self-reliance.

I have no inheritance or mortgage, nor do I belong to a high-income tax bracket, therefore my finances are simple. I’m young. And that’s precisely the reason why I’m starting as early as possible -- for the highest possible return on investment in this lifetime.

-C. 

(This is the continuation of my 'Saving Money' series. For Part 1, click here.)

Saving Money (Part 1)

MONEY HAS ALWAYS BEEN a fascinating subject. Growing up, I witnessed how different social classes operate. Unlike the U.S. with a middle class, the Philippines’ rich and poor are two very different animals. We had friends who could not put food on the table; at the same time, we mingled with kids who had drivers, yayas, tutors, and vacation homes. So then I wondered: How come?

This question plagued me and changed my perspective about finances. Just like healthy eating, I have two choices: to eat things that either make me healthy or not. So when I spend, I ask: Does this expenditure take me closer to my dreams?

Now that I work and get a steady paycheck, I still remain very frugal. I don’t loan, don’t shop much and save about 60% of my salary. Hard indeed, but I keep myself in check these specific goals:

a. TRAVEL

I've been to seven countries so far and constantly take mini-adventures around San Diego county

As Paulo Coelho would say: “I’m a pilgrim.” If I could live my life observing sunrise and sunsets, I would be a very happy woman. Saving money is one way to fulfill my pilgrim dreams. On my travel wish list:

1. Capetown, South Africa

2. Backpack 11 countries in Europe

b. EYE SURGERY

I’ve been nearsighted since I was 13 years old, because of genes and excessive reading. LASIK is a life-changing procedure that costs about $1,000+.

c. MARRIED LIFE AND
BUILDING OUR FIRST HOME

I recently got engaged. More than a wedding, which I consider an unnecessarily extravagant party, I’m saving for a new life. I’ll be moving back to my country in a new city (Cebu), learning the dialect, looking for a job, acclimating to new friends and family. All these cost quite a pretty dime. Money is tight, so I want to focus on what matters to me in the next few years: an ample home with plenty of light, a complete kitchen and perhaps even an orthopedic mattress.

SAVING MONEY TIP #1 - CULTIVATE FRUGAL BEHAVIOR

Stores manipulate your senses into overspending

People mistaken frugality as depriving them of what they want, but really, it is about saving for things they need. Mantras I live by:

→ “If you have to think about it, it means you don’t need it.”

→ “Buy Experience, Not Things”

→ “Know Needs From Wants”

→ “Wardrobe Color Scheme”

→ “Spend your money where your time is.”

→ Learn The Art Of “savoring”

→ “Lower media consumption. All it does is make you want to buy things you don’t need.” It might be ironic how someone like me who works in media would advocate less of it. Everything around us, screams buy buy buy. A good rule of thumb for things to keep: It must be beautiful, useful, or loved. Otherwise, clutter stores negative energy, says feng shui.

Lifehacker suggests cutting down mainly on two common biggest expenses: transportation and food. For transportation, I get gas at Costco. It’s is the undisputed cheapest gasoline price in my area. I buy in bulk, cook in big batches, freeze often, and watch stores prices. I got it all down to a routine and habit so effective, that my food expense is only $5 a day. I'm currently working on mastering fresh-food-fantastic-cooking on a budget.

SAVING MONEY TIP #2 “YOU MANAGE WHAT YOU MONITOR” 

Best way to curb impulse buying: writing down every penny

Similar to golf statistics or a food diary - we are only truly of aware of things we keep track of. A few years ago, I read “Your Money Or Your Life” that changed my perspective about finances. At the time, I was just in college so I didn’t have income, yet I slowly started by tracking every penny and drafted a personalized spreadsheet. The finance book teaches many other wonderful things, such as how time and money equates life energy. Simple Dollar did a stellar review of the book here.

Once a month, I sit down for 20 minutes to review 

First, I write every expense on an app, called Drafts, on my phone. I simply type it when I look at my receipts at home. Second, I total all the expenses on a piece of yellow pad paper. I do this once a month. Third, I input the numbers on my Google Drive spreadsheet. Then, easily I can find my salary, subtracted by expenses = savings.

Also, on the Drafts app, I have separate wish list. Things there include books, touchless motion sensor garbage cans, Mono price MHD wifi action cameras, etc. When I have extra cash, at least I'm spending it on things I covet long enough to write, and not on not random impulse buys.

Just the fact that I write down every penny makes me conscious of what I buy. Personally, the best reward is finding my savings percentage every month. Right now I average about 50-60% savings from my salary. This is truly one of the best habits I’ve ever conquered, one that allows me to travel, work less, and enjoy leisure without guilt. Frugality begets freedom.

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(To be continued....)

PART 2 is about money saving tips #3 and #4, and the downsides of frugality. Click here. 

Habits and How It Changed Me

HERE ARE SOME THINGS I'm working on to improve my life.

"What you do everyday matters more than what you do every once in a while."- Gretchen Rubin

In San Francisco's Alexander Bookstore, I saw Charles Duhigg's book, "The Power Of Habits." It's a yellow, hard bound book that discussed why habits exist and how we can change them. According to Duhigg, successful people and organizations simply ingrained good mental and physical habits unto their systems. This is the beginning of my fascination with the subject.

Human beings have finite energy and attention everyday. This is why President Barack Obama only wears blue and black suits; why Haruki Murakami, one of the most prolific modern writers, wakes up, eats and writes at the same time; why the military and medical field have SOP's; why Tiger Woods instantly goes on a intuitive mode on clutch putts. Habits eliminate choice - so you go on default. This way you don't waste any little of willpower you have.

When I was training international-levels of golf, I practiced with full intent and purpose for six to eight hours a day. I did this - every single day - for ten years until I was offered a US scholarship. Even though I wasn't aware, I was already cultivating habits that propelled me to a good life.

From reading, I learned that humans are creatures of habit and the brain is a "pleasure-seeker" (hello, behavioral finance). Therefore, applying good habits could make me a better person. Not only for golf when I needed it, but to other areas of my life too. But be careful: It's easy to get into something but hard to get out of it. Sneaking a bag of potato chips everyday or trying cigarettes for the first time could easily spiral downwards...

Anyway, these are some of the habits that I've learned for the nine months I've been living in San Diego:

1. Exercise As A Habit

Gym was easy as a student-athlete because it's scheduled. But now that I'm out of school and working, I needed to make sure that exercise is a choice I don't have to make. I just do it.

My routine varies: sprinting, walking, lifiting, G-Flex, hiking, yoga and HIIT's. 

My motivation for working this hard is so I can be free and proud - to wear a bikini without being self-conscious, to eat decadent foods without guilt, and to fuel my mental and physical capacity so I can enrich my life. When my legs are strong, I can hike for five hours. When I'm oxygenated, I can read and write all day long. That's why exercise is important -- aside from looking great, it allows you to accomplish more.

2. Healthy Eating As The Norm

I got into food by studying Paleo. Even today, I still think dairy-free, gluten-free, wheat-free as the cleanest way of eating. But is it sustainable for the resources and culture of a Filipino? No.

Pulled Pork with sautéed veggies, guacamole and lettuce

Sweet (bananas+bacon+honey) and savory (poached egg+avocado+cilantro) homemade waffles

Now I prefer a low-carb diet. My meals are 90% home-cooked, fresh,whole foods. I make sure my plate is balanced with proteins and vegetables. For snacks, I have smoothies or nuts. Here's a secret with healthy eating: once that becomes a habit, your palate changes. You stop craving for salt and sweet. You respect ingredients (cooks know this) and think of food as nourishment.

3. Enriching My Mind Through Reading

I curate my books and summarize each one. This is a snapshot of my bedside table.

I've made a habit of borrowing from the library. So even if I don't feel like reading, I have six stacks of books on my bedside table. Just the sight triggers me to pick them up.

On my way to work, I listen to podcasts such as Splendid Table, Harvard Business School, Unstuckable, Travel With Rick Steves and John Greene's "The Fault In Our Stars'" audiobook. At least my daily 50-minute commute is not wasted by looping radio songs and DJ's talking nonsense. The more I read, the more my mind is primed to learn more.

4. Guiltless Self-care

When I discovered the homemade skincare is just as good - or maybe even better - than synthetic ones, I never looked back. I advocate for Apple Cider Vinegar (1:2 vinegar to water ratio) as a toner, ridding me of whiteheads and open pores. Coconut oil is my all-in-one product - my hair mask, moisturizer and lotion.

As a habit, I do a weekly turmeric mask, lemon scrub, and a hot detox bath with Epsom Salt and Baking Soda. That might seem like an overkill for other people - but I care about the way I look and feel. I see people running around making money and taking care of others, but the real investment is in our own bodies. As Dr. Aris Latham of Sunfired Food would say:

"Where do you live? Country, city, or house? No. You live in your body. Take care of the only one you have."

5. Household Chores On Auto

This is where I habits get the most mileage. My Saturdays are 'cleaning day' defaults. For bigger tasks like chores, I anchor or "stack" all my habits.

First, I load the washer. In the 30 minutes while that's washing, I scrub the kitchen and bath floors, wipe the tub, mirrors, and tables, and change bed sheets. Second, I come back to the laundry and transfer clothes into the drier. The last and final step is laying all those clothes on the bed so I can pick work outfits for the next seven days. It just takes half a day to clean my house. I love this little system as much as I love coming home to an orderly and fresh-smelling abode.

How Habits Have Improved My Life

Truth to be told, I need time every so often to take a "break" from intense habit-forming. There are times, like whenever I enrol in a MOOC like Coursera that I decide to drop-out. Or some days I just watch three-hours worth of Grey's Anatomy on Netflix. I still feel inadequate in my career, sleep, social media management, and networking skills. But as Jim Collins said, "Good is the enemy of great."

My good version of habits have helped me best by saving time. I no longer waste gas driving in circles. The house is always clean. I'm proud of my monthly food budget, considering my lavish, healthy meals. My body looks and feels strong, so much so that Bikram is now just a moderate exercise for me. Best of all, I know this all preparation for a stronger and smarter version of me.

As an additional resource, here are three excellent blogs that discuss habits:

1. Gretchen Rubin's "A Happiness Project" ;
2. Daniel Coyle's "The Talent Code";

3. Steven Covey's "7 Habits Of Highly Effective People."

What's one habit that you can start changing today? Share in the comments section below.

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