21 Things I've Learned In 21 Years (Part 2)

This is part 2 of my "21 Things I've Learned In 21 Years" series. For Part 1, click here.


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12. Be impeccable with words, from Don Miguel Ruiz. I became a lot more quiet after learning that "you never have to apologize for anything you didn't say." I used to be tactless. Then I realized people don't hear what you're saying; they hear what they want to hear. Mindless comments break dreams. And positive ones propel them.

Surrealist book art from De Young Museum in San Francisco

13. Love, books.When I was a kid, my mom got me a picture Bible. Until today, I still remember Jesus' stories and its lessons. When I got a little older, she also bought me a 2006 Almanac, probably setting me up for being a random-fact-geek for the rest of my life. When I had troubles in golf, I read books about it. Now that I'm about to enter the workforce, I'm still reading about it. Books are indispensable. If I were to teach my kid one thing one day, that is to love reading, to speed read, and how to properly read a book.

14. Back up everything. One of the things I’ve learned studying digital media is to always backup my files. I try to have three back-ups at least, one in my hard drive, computer, labs, and in an online storing system like Picasa, Youtube, Hotmail, File4Shared, etc. This has saved me a lot of headaches.

A local in Davao, Philippines selling religious woodwork

15. Celebrate the Philippines. In my art, my inspiration is always the Philippines. Wherever I am, I always try to impart how amazing the country is -- from the views to the people and culture. And why not? I'm glad I have a background that I'm proud of. Tourism is something that every Filipino can partake. The problem is our own ignorance. How many of us actually know the Philippines that well? We need to encourage talking about our country with positivity and passion. Cheers to being a proud Pinay.

16. The importance of making putts within nine feet. Before I start, everyone always asks me if I still play golf. Yes, I do and still pretty decent at that. Now, it's time for stats: I looked at my last four rounds and learned that I saved 2.5 strokes just by making a 1.5 stroke improvement in my putting average. Simply, it means that from shooting 79, I lowered it down to 76.5 strokes just by being almost one putt better average per round! These highlight the importance of making putts within that distance. Practice them more. (Update: After college I stopped playing golf, but this still applies.)

17. Determine who and what are your emotional vampires. I define emotional vampires as people who trigger your stress. It can also be things that can hurt you. A few years back, I weeded out those "vampire" people in my life. Horror movies are also a no-no for me now, because I just end up so scared that I can't sleep. If we are more aware of what bugs us, the more we can act to avoid it. I mean, why put yourself through that?

18. Pray, appreciate, and always do your best. Pray to say thanks; appreciate to attract positive vibes from the universe; and always do your best so you can have a life you're proud of.

19. Learn about finance. Money is something we all have to deal with, yet many don't know how. That's why personal finance is a life skill, one that I'm so incredibly fascinated with. 

Things like: We wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time. Therefore I never buy clothing in full price. Another one is making use of free money, such as flight rewards. Today I have three free flights on Southwest after signing up to their rapid rewards program. And I can survive on $20/week allowance on food. My frugality has given me freedom to spend on things that matter to me most.

20. If something is really important to you, you'll always find a way. We've all pulled all sorts of strings to be able to do what we yearn for.

21. Visualize. I've been through a 30-pound weight loss. From a problematic acne-prone face, I now don't even need to mask anything anymore. From quitting golf, I turned it all around, loved golf again, and became a top student-athlete in my school. At night, I take some time to vividly imagine my goals. It only takes 21 consecutive days to form a habit, so if you have strong feelings about anything you want to do, start today. I've had a lot of breakthroughs within these 21 years of my life, and I found that visualizing helped tremendously.

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This is part 2 of my "21 Things I've Learned In 21 Years" series. For Part 1, click here.

Saving Money (Part 2)

(This is the continuation of my 'Saving Money' series. For Part 1, click here.)

The book that started it all for me: "Your Money Or Your Life"

SAVING MONEY TIP #3 - CREATE BARRIERS

The illusion of superiority states we are not who we think we are. So, it helps to have specific anchors to guide us. When it comes to consumption, I create barriers that limit me. 

One of them is to simply avoid temptation. I’ve stopped going to the mall, the money-sucking machine. Instead, I spend a whole lot of time at my favorite lake. Simple Dollar’s Trent likes to leave his wallet in the car, buy  bulk in Amazon for basic nonperishables (to avoid shopping), stick only to the grocery list, carry cash only, etc. Little things like these seem pedantic but everything counts.

SAVING MONEY TIP #4 - MAXIMIZE INCOME

Ramit Sethi argues that there’s a limit to what you can save, but not what you can earn. The book, “So Good They Can’t Ignore You,” details a very specific plan on skills growth, so that the person can be indispensable. Imagine a never-ending stream of skills that every employer dreams of. Or being someone or building something so remarkable and unique, you or your work is considered a “purple cow.”

I started writing this blog for practice, to have fun and to share all I know from stuff I read. After several months of consistent posting, I finally received a request for a paid article - a first in my lifetime. It’s not about the money. But how my theory of self-development, combined with time and effort, finally paid off. Plus, this side gig gives me joy.

Aside from my work and blog, I am an avid cook and baker. I have a binder with a collection of alphabetized recipes, focusing on healthy, affordable meals for a family. I'd love to become a Filipina version of Ina Garten. I also workout every other day, read extensively on health and nutrition, travel, color, essays, personal finance… Point is, I do not ever want to get stuck. I’m maximizing my plethora of knowledge because generally speaking, the more education you have, the more opportunities you get. Therefore, the better quality of life you’ll have.

THE DOWNSIDES OF FRUGALITY

Excessive frugality, a.k.a cheapness, is being such a tightwad that it makes your companions uncomfortable. For example, I always take home my own extra food from restaurants, but I will never scrape down anyone else’s plate for it. I remember once a family friend who got obsessed with recycables. He stops at almost every garbage can and dumps the stuff in his smelly car. Is it worth his time and annoyance of his friends for a few bucks of picking bottles?

Scarcity mindset is believing that there’s not enough in this world to go around. It is rooted from a poverty mindset, where long-term growth is overshadowed by short-term needs. It’s when we are selfish. My tendency is to get guilty of splurging or sharing since my budget is so transparent. I also tend to buy cheap things instead of quality things. (Working on it!) The opposite of scarcity mindset is the abundance mindset.

Limits of saving too much money. Many things are worth the expense -- things that save time, enrich life, education and relationships, etc. Sometimes it’s hard to draw the line between what is enough or when to extend one’s comfort zone.

CONCLUSION

"Your life is the sum of your choices." - Albert Camus

Personal finance is a life skill, something that everyone has to deal with, yet very few know about. I’m thankful for having read “Your Money Or Your Life,” that started me on track. Granted, I cannot explain credits, stocks, retirement accounts or investments yet, but I’m starting to get a good grip on saving.

I do not know if any of my peers take such care in budgeting as I do. I cannot preach them either, because principles are useless unless one experiences them. If my siblings ever come for help, I’m here as a living example. So far, my careful planning has lifted a huge weight off my family and I get tremendous satisfaction on self-reliance.

I have no inheritance or mortgage, nor do I belong to a high-income tax bracket, therefore my finances are simple. I’m young. And that’s precisely the reason why I’m starting as early as possible -- for the highest possible return on investment in this lifetime.

-C. 

(This is the continuation of my 'Saving Money' series. For Part 1, click here.)

Saving Money (Part 1)

MONEY HAS ALWAYS BEEN a fascinating subject. Growing up, I witnessed how different social classes operate. Unlike the U.S. with a middle class, the Philippines’ rich and poor are two very different animals. We had friends who could not put food on the table; at the same time, we mingled with kids who had drivers, yayas, tutors, and vacation homes. So then I wondered: How come?

This question plagued me and changed my perspective about finances. Just like healthy eating, I have two choices: to eat things that either make me healthy or not. So when I spend, I ask: Does this expenditure take me closer to my dreams?

Now that I work and get a steady paycheck, I still remain very frugal. I don’t loan, don’t shop much and save about 60% of my salary. Hard indeed, but I keep myself in check these specific goals:

a. TRAVEL

I've been to seven countries so far and constantly take mini-adventures around San Diego county

As Paulo Coelho would say: “I’m a pilgrim.” If I could live my life observing sunrise and sunsets, I would be a very happy woman. Saving money is one way to fulfill my pilgrim dreams. On my travel wish list:

1. Capetown, South Africa

2. Backpack 11 countries in Europe

b. EYE SURGERY

I’ve been nearsighted since I was 13 years old, because of genes and excessive reading. LASIK is a life-changing procedure that costs about $1,000+.

c. MARRIED LIFE AND
BUILDING OUR FIRST HOME

I recently got engaged. More than a wedding, which I consider an unnecessarily extravagant party, I’m saving for a new life. I’ll be moving back to my country in a new city (Cebu), learning the dialect, looking for a job, acclimating to new friends and family. All these cost quite a pretty dime. Money is tight, so I want to focus on what matters to me in the next few years: an ample home with plenty of light, a complete kitchen and perhaps even an orthopedic mattress.

SAVING MONEY TIP #1 - CULTIVATE FRUGAL BEHAVIOR

Stores manipulate your senses into overspending

People mistaken frugality as depriving them of what they want, but really, it is about saving for things they need. Mantras I live by:

→ “If you have to think about it, it means you don’t need it.”

→ “Buy Experience, Not Things”

→ “Know Needs From Wants”

→ “Wardrobe Color Scheme”

→ “Spend your money where your time is.”

→ Learn The Art Of “savoring”

→ “Lower media consumption. All it does is make you want to buy things you don’t need.” It might be ironic how someone like me who works in media would advocate less of it. Everything around us, screams buy buy buy. A good rule of thumb for things to keep: It must be beautiful, useful, or loved. Otherwise, clutter stores negative energy, says feng shui.

Lifehacker suggests cutting down mainly on two common biggest expenses: transportation and food. For transportation, I get gas at Costco. It’s is the undisputed cheapest gasoline price in my area. I buy in bulk, cook in big batches, freeze often, and watch stores prices. I got it all down to a routine and habit so effective, that my food expense is only $5 a day. I'm currently working on mastering fresh-food-fantastic-cooking on a budget.

SAVING MONEY TIP #2 “YOU MANAGE WHAT YOU MONITOR” 

Best way to curb impulse buying: writing down every penny

Similar to golf statistics or a food diary - we are only truly of aware of things we keep track of. A few years ago, I read “Your Money Or Your Life” that changed my perspective about finances. At the time, I was just in college so I didn’t have income, yet I slowly started by tracking every penny and drafted a personalized spreadsheet. The finance book teaches many other wonderful things, such as how time and money equates life energy. Simple Dollar did a stellar review of the book here.

Once a month, I sit down for 20 minutes to review 

First, I write every expense on an app, called Drafts, on my phone. I simply type it when I look at my receipts at home. Second, I total all the expenses on a piece of yellow pad paper. I do this once a month. Third, I input the numbers on my Google Drive spreadsheet. Then, easily I can find my salary, subtracted by expenses = savings.

Also, on the Drafts app, I have separate wish list. Things there include books, touchless motion sensor garbage cans, Mono price MHD wifi action cameras, etc. When I have extra cash, at least I'm spending it on things I covet long enough to write, and not on not random impulse buys.

Just the fact that I write down every penny makes me conscious of what I buy. Personally, the best reward is finding my savings percentage every month. Right now I average about 50-60% savings from my salary. This is truly one of the best habits I’ve ever conquered, one that allows me to travel, work less, and enjoy leisure without guilt. Frugality begets freedom.

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(To be continued....)

PART 2 is about money saving tips #3 and #4, and the downsides of frugality. Click here. 

Can Someone Really Have It All?

We used to call her "mongol," as she is curve-less and skinny as the pencil brand. Somewhere along the way, she learned to line her eyes, grew hair and hips, developed a taste in clothes and some high-caliber golfing skills.

 "He who does not have an embarrassing childhood photo, cast the first stone." :: Me (left) and Princess (right) in Boracay 2006.

8 YEARS LATER:: Our most recent picture taken in Coronado, July 2014.

My sister, Princess Mary Superal, just won the 2014 US Girl's Junior Championship, the most prestigious golf girls' event in the world. Out of a record 1,188 entries and 162 holes from a 6,718-yard long golf course, she came out the winner. No other home-grown Filipina has achieved this feat.

Last year, she won two gold medals for the Philippines in the SEA Games, a premier golf event in Southeast Asia. She played 24 amateur and professional events last year alone -- "a quite full schedule," Golf Channel commentators noted. When she was 13 years old, she shot a course-record 62 (10-under par) at the Cottonwoods golf course. Nothing in her reaction that day seemed out of the ordinary. She wins often that every time somebody sees me, their first reaction is: "Hey, congrats to your sister!"

I wish those people would understand that the win is not on her list of accomplishments, but who she had become.

On January 16, 1997, Princess was born a preemie, only seven months out. The doctor asked my father to be ready to lose either his wife or child. The baby came out weighing only one-pound and as fragile as a Sardinian blood veal. To recover, the doctors incubated her for a month. My parents deservedly named her as "Princess," as she is our family's royal, precious gift. Her second name, "Mary" is from Mother Mary, my mom's favorite saint.

With Baby Princess:: One of our earliest family photos, 1998

Growing up, Princess did not play, cry, or eat much. When other kids scraped their knees from playing, she observed on the sides, probably thinking how stupid they were. It shocked me one day when my sister pounced on an abusive comment. Many times, she'd been left alone; she had witnessed abuse and bullying, even had her head stitched up. She's not at all innocent as she looks. When challenged, she has two reactions: either fight or laugh.

Her usual response is humor, even at the silliest of things.

Our recent conversation went like this:

Me: "Wolen is having a gout attack... tapos si Lola may gout din daw." 

(Silence)

Princess: "Hala! Ako na yata sunod. Tapos si Ace. Haha" 

Her remarks are unique, sharp. Just yesterday, she was stranded for three hours on an airplane in New York. "I want to be the one to fix this plane!," she texted me. That's her distinct, Superal-way of dealing with adversity: light-hearted and mature. How did she learn all that?

"Age is a high price to pay for maturity."

Arnold Palmer describes golf as, "satisfaction to the soul and frustration to the intellect." So perhaps from hundreds of rounds Princess plays, golf is actually toughening her up. Or maybe from travel or dealing with folks she meets along the way.

Nowadays I only see my sister for one week every year. When I do, I have no other intention (not even talk about golf!) other than to cuddle her. Her small face is like a doll's, as my mother describes. Her hair and skin always needs pampering, for which I take pride in doing. In short, when I'm with her, I just want to take care of her.

I see Princess not just as 42nd in the Women's World Amateur rankings, but as a perpetual transformation from being mongol to beautiful girl to a normal teen, balancing friends and family and an extraordinary talent torn between college or professional golf. A chaotic stage to be in, yet she retains her charity, class and comedy. If this is not someone who has-it-all, she's sure damn close.

(P.S. We love you, Princess.)